I was pretty lucky when it came to baby books, I didn't go out and buy 100s to them like a few, I was given some fabulous recommendations from friends, went out and bought just those and loved them. Gina Ford being the one I took to the most. I had never heard of her and when I googled her there was immediately controversy around her name. I had 4 good friends and my cousin who swore by her but them lots of opposition to her on the internet, saying things likes 'how can someone who has never had a baby write a baby book'. The point is she is a midwife and has helped raise 100s of children and help countless parents with feeding and sleeping issues by going into their homes and solving bad habits. A milder version of her system is the Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer....any more on these below.
BOOK LIST
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING by Heidi Murkuff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway - this was like a manual more than a book. Chapters are divided into Months of your pregnancy "The First Month, The Second Month etc...) Each month outlines the development of your baby, and what symptoms you might be having and also addresses some more common concerns mother's have had in the past. Some of the sections are QUESTIONS....eg a question posed by a mother and then the reply. I used to put a star next to any symptoms that I was having. It's funny looking back at it now as there is a red star for Isabelle and a blue star for Sebastien and you can see how different pregnancies can be. At the back there is a section on notes for each month, it's fun reading those again too. Chapter 14 covers labour and delivery, Chapter 15 looks at the first week after birth, and Chapter 6 looks at the next 6 weeks. Chapter 17 is for dads. MAKE YOUR PARTNER READ THIS !! The last few chapters looks at things like illness during pregnancy, what if something feels wrong and also preparing for the next baby.
THE NEW CONTENDED LITTLE BABY BOOK by GINA FORD: she's written a whole host of books, the best one to read whilst pregnant is this one. This book is all about setting out the routine for your baby in the first year. She covers principles of sleep, how much and when to feed your baby. The whole idea behind the book is to have a baby that feeds enough during the day, and sleeps the correct amount during the day (the focus being not to let a child sleep more than the recommended hours for his age at daytime) to ENSURE that your baby sleeps through the night as soon as possible. On her routine Isabelle was sleeping through the night at 9wks and Sebastien at 12 wks. She does use controlled crying to instil good sleeping habits (ie a child that doesn't beed a sleeping aid like being rocked to sleep, given a dummy etc). And she does say that you have to limit a child's daytime sleep to ensure they sleep well at night (and this does mean waking up a sleeping baby when nap time is over - hence some of the controversy around her system). I swear by her however.
THE COMPLETE SLEEP GUIDE by GINA FORD - this goes into more detail about sleep. Problem areas tend to be early morning waking, middle of the night waking, difficulty with the lunch time nap and she addresses these in detail with case studies. They really helped me, I had early morning rising issues with Isabelle and when she recommended reducing the lunch time nap (which didn't seem in any way related to me) suddenly the problem stopped. HONESTLY IT WORKS !
THE CONTENDED LITTLE BOOK OF WEANING by GINA FORD - again in this book she covers the details around weaning, how to start in the first few days and weeks and how it all relates to their sleep patterns. With Gina Ford there is always a 10.30pm feed and she guides you through how once weaning is fully established you can drop this 10.30pm feed. Up until this stage your baby will be sleeping from 11pm to 7am. IT IS AT THIS STAGE WHEN THIS 10.30PM FEED IS DROPPED THAT YOUR BABY WILL SLEEP FROM 7PM TO 7AM !!! and it works !
SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER by TRACY HOGG. Hogg has a softer approach to schedules but nonetheless also believes that children thrive on routine. I loved this book and found it so much more gentle than Gin Ford, having said that I followed Gina Ford's schedules but with some of Tracy Hogg's principles; and to both I added what worked for me, which really is what it's all about
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS SICK by PROFESSOR MIDDLETON, DR RATCHFORD, DR MACKENZIE, DR SMITH. This book is great as a fast reference at home. The first chapter gives you some basics on anatomy & physiology; basics on how the body works. I didn't really use this book much in the first year; instead I ran to the doctor at the first sign of anything. Eventually however you will use it. It covers all the basics as well as a good CPR section.
HE'S HAVING A BABY by JACK O'SULLIVAN. This book is just a bit of fun for dads. It lets them have something on their bedside table too even though it won't match your pile. It's not a detailed book but skims the A-Z surface. Everything from early planning, to spotting labour pains right through to how to deal with a tiny new baby & nappy changing (lots of photos !!).
WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST YEAR by Heidi Murkuff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway . This is from the same "what to expect' series. WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING covers you up to the birth. This books covers the first year month by month much in the same style and ....
WHAT TO EXPECT THE TODDLER YEARS by HEIDI MURKOFF covers you for the toddler years. This whole series is a great manual on all the basic principles; no one's system, just some plane facts on growth, development, illness you name it.
THE CONTENDED TODDLER YEARS by GINA FORD and POTTY TRAINING IN A WEEK by GINA FORD are great for toddlers. She expands on the routines to cater for your toddler AND the potty training method she employes also works. I started Isabelle on it quite young; she was 18 mths old when we started and given that she was so young it actually took us 10 days and not 7 days. When we went out we still used pull ups (which Gina Ford doesn't agree with on the basis that you can't tell a child they shouldn't wet themselves and then have occasions when they are allowed to because they are in pull up - mixed messages that they are not old enough to process. She teaches potty training on the sole basis of deciphering wet from dry). However we did still have occasions we used pull ups and whilst they were dry 90% of the time we had occasional accidents. By the time Isabelle was 20mths old we had lost the pull ups too and she was FULLY potty trained
THE CONTENDED BABY WITH TODDLER BOOK by GINA FORD. This book was a godsend. I remember thinking 'good lord now that I am pregnant with baby two I have to go through Gina Ford's baby schedule and merge it with her toddler schedule and somehow make it all work.....AND THEN I SPOTTED THIS BOOK. It sounds very silly but honestly it was one of the best days ever! The relief that someone else had done the hard work was overwhelming. And true to form it works and we still follow it.
SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER FOR TODDLERS by TRACY HOGG. Again another wonderful book by Tracy Hogg on toddler sensibilities and how to deal with them without pulling your hair out. Better than this for me was
NEW TODDLER TAMING by DR CHRISTOPHER GREEN. I really loved this book and still use it as a guide with Isabelle. It was recommended to me by our wonderful paediatrician in London Dr Stanley Rom who is a total gem by the way
Some links:
www.contentedbaby.com or www.contentedtoddler.com - you can join with an annual fee and access a multitude of case studies to help. A god send. Highly recommended.
www.babywhispererforums.com
www.whattoexpect.com
www.babycenter.com - you can register for free and they will send you a newsletter each week on the progress of your pregnancy or even after the birth on the progress of your baby (what to expect type stuff) I loved receiving their emails !! Highly recommended
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Pre Natal Depression
PRENATAL DEPRESSION
Everyone knows about baby blues after you've given birth and the more serious post natal depression but we never hear about depression that occurs during pregnancy or prenatal depression. I've read on various websites and in research paper that there could be as 70% of all pregnant woman that will experience at some stage some of the symptoms of depression during their pregnancy. Thats a high enough number not to ignore and certainly something we should all be able to talk about.
To experience SOME of the symptoms at SOME stage in the 9mths sounded a bit vague so when I looked into it I discovered that in fact these depressive symptoms are often more minor than a full flown diagnostic depression which is typically only seen in about 10-15% of pregnant women. There's a huge difference between having a bad day and being clinally depressed, crying because you feel fat and being clinically depressed, feeling like you'll be a dreadful mother and being clinically depressed.
That's why it's important to realise that whilst hormones have a bad name, they really are only part of the problem. Stress of pregnancy is another huge factor; and stress comes for many reasons, was the pregnancy planned? the finances involved, will you be moving house? giving up work? your own relationship ups and downs and many more.....
The problem with depression when you are pregant is that it has other implications on how you eat, sleep, exercise etc...all of which impact your baby and all of which then create a cycle to make the depression worse.
I found from talking to women with pre natal depression (the more serious cases) that they felt very confused; they knew they should be happy but couldn't understand why they felt so low.
The biggest issue with depression during a pregnancy is spotting it. So many of the symptoms are the same as pregnancy symptoms. Some woman walk around with clinical depression for months thinking they are just having a tough pregnancy.
The main symptoms are:
Problems concentrating
Problems with sleeping
Fatigue
Changes in eating habits
Feeling anxious
Irritability
Feeling down/low
So what can you do to help? TELL SOMEONE. Whether that's your partner? best friend? mother? doctor? midwife? Just tell SOMEONE. Let someone know and that in itself is a big step. You need a support network and failing that you should reach out to a psychologist. In somecases you can talk it through and in other cases medication is used. I don't believe in it's use generally (and there are some safe ones for pregnancy) but I also know of woman who wouln't have made it through on thier own despite their support network.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Everything our parents did, but are told not to do...
You've probably all seen this email that went around. I thought it would be amusing to share it again here before some of the real issues:
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…….
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!
But really AMUSING is all this email was, there are a million 'NO, NO's in there' Most of which I will leave to you to figure out, but I do have some interesting info below:
Despite years of confusing, mixed messages about whether red wine, chocolate, fish, coffee or eggs are good for us or maybe somehow toxic, there have been enough randomized clinical trials to offer some undeniable truths: high cholesterol, low exercise, excessive sun, inhaling cigarette smoke, failing to wear a seatbelt, and excessive drinking while pregnant can hurt you (or your baby). They may not, but they CAN, or quite likely will, depending on the behavior. Studies in the U.S have shown that death rates from heart disease have dropped by 50% in the last 20 years — about half the decline is thought to be due to prevention.
“It would be a disservice to say that (modern, healthier habits) don’t make any difference,”. That was a quote by Dr. Daniel Berman, chief of cardiac imaging at Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles. He went on to say “I’m 100 percent convinced that the things we’re doing are extending our younger years.
Berman was also quoted saying the more controversial “The bottom line is that things like bike accidents where a kid died because they didn’t wear a helmet, were rarely occurred. But if your kid happened to fall and was 1 out of 10,000 who died, you must live with knowing it was preventable,”.
Genetics has a role to play too ! Our longevity is rooted in our DNA — 50 percent of our health outcome in fact is estimated to be determined by our chromosomes. You only have to look at Winston Churchill. He smoked cigars, was overweight and yet lived to 90; and yet athletes with healthy lifestyles have dies of heart attacks at 52.
As a parent some things are obvious to me, the health precautions like not drinking or smoking whilst pregnant, not smoking around children, sleeping babies on their back to prevent cot death (see my section on SIDS for other advice), wearing helmets, vaccinating our kids etc.....
It's the less obvious I struggle with. When Isabelle was around 10mths I bought a baby walker, similar to one I had as a baby, only to find out that they were not recommended for use at all. Was it for obvious reasons like they could walk off over the end of a flight of stairs? or walk into a book shelf and bring everything crashing down? Well yes those too, injuries from walkers do exist as would any injuries if you left a child unsupervised. The one that got me was that it is claimed that children using walkers learn to walk later as they are not using their own muscles, nor can they see their feet (the right stimulus) and I even read that it could effect development of the formation of their legs.
Well I didn't throw the walker out. I am most of my generation had them and we all walk just fine. Instead I decided to limit use of it to only a few mths between cruising and walking and only to 10min sessions once in a while.
The list of things we are no longer allowed to do, but that our parents did are endless, some are very sensible and some need to be taken with a pinch of your own salt (make your own minds up). That's just my view anyway.
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…….
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!
But really AMUSING is all this email was, there are a million 'NO, NO's in there' Most of which I will leave to you to figure out, but I do have some interesting info below:
Despite years of confusing, mixed messages about whether red wine, chocolate, fish, coffee or eggs are good for us or maybe somehow toxic, there have been enough randomized clinical trials to offer some undeniable truths: high cholesterol, low exercise, excessive sun, inhaling cigarette smoke, failing to wear a seatbelt, and excessive drinking while pregnant can hurt you (or your baby). They may not, but they CAN, or quite likely will, depending on the behavior. Studies in the U.S have shown that death rates from heart disease have dropped by 50% in the last 20 years — about half the decline is thought to be due to prevention.
“It would be a disservice to say that (modern, healthier habits) don’t make any difference,”. That was a quote by Dr. Daniel Berman, chief of cardiac imaging at Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles. He went on to say “I’m 100 percent convinced that the things we’re doing are extending our younger years.
Berman was also quoted saying the more controversial “The bottom line is that things like bike accidents where a kid died because they didn’t wear a helmet, were rarely occurred. But if your kid happened to fall and was 1 out of 10,000 who died, you must live with knowing it was preventable,”.
Genetics has a role to play too ! Our longevity is rooted in our DNA — 50 percent of our health outcome in fact is estimated to be determined by our chromosomes. You only have to look at Winston Churchill. He smoked cigars, was overweight and yet lived to 90; and yet athletes with healthy lifestyles have dies of heart attacks at 52.
As a parent some things are obvious to me, the health precautions like not drinking or smoking whilst pregnant, not smoking around children, sleeping babies on their back to prevent cot death (see my section on SIDS for other advice), wearing helmets, vaccinating our kids etc.....
It's the less obvious I struggle with. When Isabelle was around 10mths I bought a baby walker, similar to one I had as a baby, only to find out that they were not recommended for use at all. Was it for obvious reasons like they could walk off over the end of a flight of stairs? or walk into a book shelf and bring everything crashing down? Well yes those too, injuries from walkers do exist as would any injuries if you left a child unsupervised. The one that got me was that it is claimed that children using walkers learn to walk later as they are not using their own muscles, nor can they see their feet (the right stimulus) and I even read that it could effect development of the formation of their legs.
Well I didn't throw the walker out. I am most of my generation had them and we all walk just fine. Instead I decided to limit use of it to only a few mths between cruising and walking and only to 10min sessions once in a while.
The list of things we are no longer allowed to do, but that our parents did are endless, some are very sensible and some need to be taken with a pinch of your own salt (make your own minds up). That's just my view anyway.
Breastfeeding or Formula ?
'Breast is Best' vs 'Well I grew up on formula and I'm just fine'
The big debate that will go on as long as mother's give birth to babies. Both sides of the argument are sound, breast is the most natural way to feed your baby. It's on tap, its loaded with nutrients (provided you are eating well !! ) and it doesn't requiring mixing, heating, storing or working out how much to take with you when you are out and about. The downside for me what that I never really knew how much my baby was feeding and if it was enough.
Equally however formula contains all the nutrients a baby needs and even when you consider the antibodies it lacks that breast milk does have, there is no evidence of stronger or weaker immune systems in adults that were formula fed versus breast fed. It also means you know how much your baby is having and when and typically as it can be richer, formula feb babies sleep through the night sooner. It also means someone else can help with the night feeds !! Enter daddy.
One thing is for sure though, neither method comes without it's own set of issues. Some mother's simply can't breastfeed. For a variety of reasons from being unable to get a good latch, to simply not producing enough milk. Why can't some mother's produce milk if it's the most natural way to feed their newborn? sometimes it's the mother's nutrition, sometimes psychological issues, and other times there IS no reason. I really struggled with breastfeeding Isabelle. To me it felt like the most UNNATURAL thing. I couldn't get her to latch on properly so as a result instead of my nipple being far back on her soft palate, it would rest of her hard palate leaving me sore and bleeding and once that starts, so starts a viscous cycle that makes it harder and harder. I also wasn't producing enough milk as I wasn't really eating that well as I had big time baby blues in the 1st few weeks; and as you know the more you make, the more your baby feeds the more it stimulates the breasts to make more. I was the opposite and the more time passed the less milk I made. And not even good milky milk; it started to look very clear and grey, and eventually the doctors told me I had to supplement with formula as Isabelle wasn't gaining enough weight. With Sebastien it was a totally different story, he latched on well, he drank well, I made good milk and all was well. But then I had to go back to work and I wanted to transition him to formula before my start date.
Formula has it's own set of issues. Isabelle took to the 1st one we tried. Sebastien had VERY bad colic with almost every type of milk we tried. He had colic on breast milk too but the formula made it worse. We tried 3 different milk brands and nothing helped, eventually I switched back to the 1st brand as I felt perhaps I hadn't given it as much of a chance as the others and had moved on from it in my haste to find something better. It was the one that Isabelle had used too and a part of me wanted Sebastien to use that one as well. Surprisingly it DID work well. I don't know if it was because I hadn't given it enough of a chance to settle with him the 1st time or whether it had taken so long to wok our way back around to it again that he had actually grown out of his colic Was he dealing better with formula in general or was he dealing better with this brand?
So a little on the science: what do they contain and lack ??
BREAST MILK
FAT: if you take the water out, 50% of breast milk is FAT, and in there a fair bit of cholesterol. Some research shows that this early exposure to cholesterol results in adults with lower cholesterol as they are able to regulate their levels better. The fast cells in breast milk are also smaller (broken down by an enzyme in breast milk called Lipase) than the fat cells in formula (which comes from cow's milk) and therefore easier for babies to digest.
CARBOHYDRATE: makes up 37% of breast milk. The carb in breast milk is lactose (made up of two sugars galactose and glucose). Lactose provides the energy that will allow babies function (breath, eat, cry, grow, and develop).Lactose is also converted to lactic acid which makes the baby’s stomach acidic. This in turn prevents the growth of harmful bacteria.
PROTEIN: There are high levels of protein in colostrum. The sticky thick part of milk that comes in the 1st few days after birth. 60 to 80% of the protein in breast milk is Whey. It's a smooth, liquidly-type of protein that is said to be easier to digest and it is absorbed well in baby’s stomach. This is also why their stool is runny, and they feel hungry more often.. The other important proteins in breast milk are the antibodies (helps fight against bacterial and viral infections), lactoferrin (binds to iron and helps iron absorption. It also prevents the growth of harmful microorganisms that use iron), bifidus factor (encourages the growth of lactobacillus which helps prevents the growth of other harmful stomach bacteria), lipase, amylase, lysozyme, and other enzymes (helps in digestion and creates a healthy environment in the intestines).
VITAMINS & MINERALS: Breast milk advocates say that it is considered to have the perfect combination of nutrients: Vit A, D, C, E, B1, B2, Pantothenic Acid, Biotin, Niocin, Folic Acid, B12, B6. These are just some of the 100 different components. Don't forget CALCIUM !
FORMULA
Infant formula is designed to match the ingredients of breast milk, but an exact replica is not yet possible. The FDA requires all infant formula to comply with strict nutritional requirements. The FDA requires all iron fortified formulas to have at least 12 milligrams of iron per liter and 2 milligrams of iron per liter for low iron formulas. DHA and ARA are also added to formulas to increase proper brain and eye development. A large difference between breast milk and baby formula is that formula contain saturated fats, such as oils and corn syrup. You will also notice that babies fed on infant formula are often fatter than babies fed with breast milk. The other issue is that most infant formulas are cow milk based which in some cases can result in lactose intolerance. For a full breakdown of the components you can go to www.fda.gov
SUMMARY
The MOST IMPORTANT issue I think is to believe in the choice you make and not let anyone tell you that one is better or worse than the other. You can make your choice on convenience, preference, cost, because you are going back to work, or because one is simply easier on you than the other; whatever your reason is, IT'S YOUR REASON, and you should stick to it.
The big debate that will go on as long as mother's give birth to babies. Both sides of the argument are sound, breast is the most natural way to feed your baby. It's on tap, its loaded with nutrients (provided you are eating well !! ) and it doesn't requiring mixing, heating, storing or working out how much to take with you when you are out and about. The downside for me what that I never really knew how much my baby was feeding and if it was enough.
Equally however formula contains all the nutrients a baby needs and even when you consider the antibodies it lacks that breast milk does have, there is no evidence of stronger or weaker immune systems in adults that were formula fed versus breast fed. It also means you know how much your baby is having and when and typically as it can be richer, formula feb babies sleep through the night sooner. It also means someone else can help with the night feeds !! Enter daddy.
One thing is for sure though, neither method comes without it's own set of issues. Some mother's simply can't breastfeed. For a variety of reasons from being unable to get a good latch, to simply not producing enough milk. Why can't some mother's produce milk if it's the most natural way to feed their newborn? sometimes it's the mother's nutrition, sometimes psychological issues, and other times there IS no reason. I really struggled with breastfeeding Isabelle. To me it felt like the most UNNATURAL thing. I couldn't get her to latch on properly so as a result instead of my nipple being far back on her soft palate, it would rest of her hard palate leaving me sore and bleeding and once that starts, so starts a viscous cycle that makes it harder and harder. I also wasn't producing enough milk as I wasn't really eating that well as I had big time baby blues in the 1st few weeks; and as you know the more you make, the more your baby feeds the more it stimulates the breasts to make more. I was the opposite and the more time passed the less milk I made. And not even good milky milk; it started to look very clear and grey, and eventually the doctors told me I had to supplement with formula as Isabelle wasn't gaining enough weight. With Sebastien it was a totally different story, he latched on well, he drank well, I made good milk and all was well. But then I had to go back to work and I wanted to transition him to formula before my start date.
Formula has it's own set of issues. Isabelle took to the 1st one we tried. Sebastien had VERY bad colic with almost every type of milk we tried. He had colic on breast milk too but the formula made it worse. We tried 3 different milk brands and nothing helped, eventually I switched back to the 1st brand as I felt perhaps I hadn't given it as much of a chance as the others and had moved on from it in my haste to find something better. It was the one that Isabelle had used too and a part of me wanted Sebastien to use that one as well. Surprisingly it DID work well. I don't know if it was because I hadn't given it enough of a chance to settle with him the 1st time or whether it had taken so long to wok our way back around to it again that he had actually grown out of his colic Was he dealing better with formula in general or was he dealing better with this brand?
So a little on the science: what do they contain and lack ??
BREAST MILK
FAT: if you take the water out, 50% of breast milk is FAT, and in there a fair bit of cholesterol. Some research shows that this early exposure to cholesterol results in adults with lower cholesterol as they are able to regulate their levels better. The fast cells in breast milk are also smaller (broken down by an enzyme in breast milk called Lipase) than the fat cells in formula (which comes from cow's milk) and therefore easier for babies to digest.
CARBOHYDRATE: makes up 37% of breast milk. The carb in breast milk is lactose (made up of two sugars galactose and glucose). Lactose provides the energy that will allow babies function (breath, eat, cry, grow, and develop).Lactose is also converted to lactic acid which makes the baby’s stomach acidic. This in turn prevents the growth of harmful bacteria.
PROTEIN: There are high levels of protein in colostrum. The sticky thick part of milk that comes in the 1st few days after birth. 60 to 80% of the protein in breast milk is Whey. It's a smooth, liquidly-type of protein that is said to be easier to digest and it is absorbed well in baby’s stomach. This is also why their stool is runny, and they feel hungry more often.. The other important proteins in breast milk are the antibodies (helps fight against bacterial and viral infections), lactoferrin (binds to iron and helps iron absorption. It also prevents the growth of harmful microorganisms that use iron), bifidus factor (encourages the growth of lactobacillus which helps prevents the growth of other harmful stomach bacteria), lipase, amylase, lysozyme, and other enzymes (helps in digestion and creates a healthy environment in the intestines).
VITAMINS & MINERALS: Breast milk advocates say that it is considered to have the perfect combination of nutrients: Vit A, D, C, E, B1, B2, Pantothenic Acid, Biotin, Niocin, Folic Acid, B12, B6. These are just some of the 100 different components. Don't forget CALCIUM !
FORMULA
Infant formula is designed to match the ingredients of breast milk, but an exact replica is not yet possible. The FDA requires all infant formula to comply with strict nutritional requirements. The FDA requires all iron fortified formulas to have at least 12 milligrams of iron per liter and 2 milligrams of iron per liter for low iron formulas. DHA and ARA are also added to formulas to increase proper brain and eye development. A large difference between breast milk and baby formula is that formula contain saturated fats, such as oils and corn syrup. You will also notice that babies fed on infant formula are often fatter than babies fed with breast milk. The other issue is that most infant formulas are cow milk based which in some cases can result in lactose intolerance. For a full breakdown of the components you can go to www.fda.gov
SUMMARY
The MOST IMPORTANT issue I think is to believe in the choice you make and not let anyone tell you that one is better or worse than the other. You can make your choice on convenience, preference, cost, because you are going back to work, or because one is simply easier on you than the other; whatever your reason is, IT'S YOUR REASON, and you should stick to it.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Swim Class - when to start ?
The 1st time we took Isabelle into the water was in Sanya, Hainan Island where we were for a friend's wedding. She had just turned 6mths, the expression on her face (like most new things she has tried) was priceless - utter indifference and an air of 'and so?'.
Back in HK we took plenty of other opportunities to take her to the pool at the LRC and also on subsequent holidays to Dubai and France. She officially started lessons when she was around 16mths old. It had taken up almost a year on the waiting list to get a weekend slot at the LRC ! That's a entirely different issue.
Soap box for a moment: at the LRC nannies are only allowed to drop off and collect children, and are then banished to a room smaller than a prison cell with no natural light, a few plastic chairs and one water dispenser. For working mothers this means that the kids can't enjoy any of the facilities or many activities during the week if they are small enough to need supervision. On certain days of the week nannies are allowed into one of the playrooms (aimed at toddlers) and not the soft padded room that typically babies would go to. So for now Isabelle can go to the playroom with her nanny on some week days but Sebastien has to stay at home. As for the pool....no nannies allowed in the water. And so my dilemma of having to wait a whole year for a saturday slot. My other frustration is that several of the other mother's in the weekend classes are mothers that don't work and could just as easily come on a weekday. Soap box over
So back to the swimming classes. Isabelle LOVED the water and literally couldn't get enough of it; that is until she started the swim classes. In the class they had to be dunked under the water. Parents are taught to blow into their child's face so that the child reacts by holding her breath and closing her eyes at which point you dunk them under the water and back up again. Well Isabelle HATED it, she managed to swallow water despite this technique, and burst into tears. The result of this ONE isolated incidence was months and months of the followed: at each class she would cling on for dear life and whine or cry; even when all we did was sing songs and play with toys and play various games in the water. She absolutely did not want to be there. After a few classes whilst I wanted to push through and get to a breakthrough, there wasn't a moment I didn't consider pulling her out of the class. Was this negative experience going to make her hate swimming for ever ?
Then Sebastien was born at the end of October and we were so busy with him, and at the same time the winter arrived and we stopped classes altogether. In fact we lost our slot as many parents continued through the winter and had to wait all over again for a slot. I thought the break would work. It didn't. When we resumed in the summer of 2010 again, it was the same thing all over again. Tears and trauma, again we decided to give it a few turns and see what happens. Finally on saturday in August I decided that's it this is the last class, and that day she actually giggled during the class. Incidentally we never dunked her head again after the first few times went so wrong. We thought she needed to just be happy again in the water first. After that breakthrough class I thought 'yes we can do this'. I took Isabelle a few extra sessions just on my own with my mother was who was with us in HK and then we all went away for our summer holiday to LA. The real breakthrough came there. Almost everyday in the pool she built her confidence and was having fun.
We are back now and back to swim classes and we have days where she is very happy and wants to be as independent as possible and days where she still gets clingy. She still doesn't love going under the water but if she does she at least isn't in tears. It's taken a long time, Isabelle is now 2yrs and 4mths as I write this.
The question however is why do we feel compelled as parents to have our kids start these things as soon as possible. Is there really a difference between starting at 6mth and starting at 3yrs ? Does she want to be a swim champion??
I think recognising that the world we live in can be so pushy when it comes to our kids is really important and armed with that, we can step back and make more sensible decisions.
Sebastien's 1st swimming experience was also in Sanya, Hainan Island where we went for a short Easter break. He was also around 6mths, and true to his character when trying anything new, he burst straight into tears. He really doesn't like the temperature change and you know what....?? This time I am not going to push it. He will swim when he is good and ready.
Back in HK we took plenty of other opportunities to take her to the pool at the LRC and also on subsequent holidays to Dubai and France. She officially started lessons when she was around 16mths old. It had taken up almost a year on the waiting list to get a weekend slot at the LRC ! That's a entirely different issue.
Soap box for a moment: at the LRC nannies are only allowed to drop off and collect children, and are then banished to a room smaller than a prison cell with no natural light, a few plastic chairs and one water dispenser. For working mothers this means that the kids can't enjoy any of the facilities or many activities during the week if they are small enough to need supervision. On certain days of the week nannies are allowed into one of the playrooms (aimed at toddlers) and not the soft padded room that typically babies would go to. So for now Isabelle can go to the playroom with her nanny on some week days but Sebastien has to stay at home. As for the pool....no nannies allowed in the water. And so my dilemma of having to wait a whole year for a saturday slot. My other frustration is that several of the other mother's in the weekend classes are mothers that don't work and could just as easily come on a weekday. Soap box over
So back to the swimming classes. Isabelle LOVED the water and literally couldn't get enough of it; that is until she started the swim classes. In the class they had to be dunked under the water. Parents are taught to blow into their child's face so that the child reacts by holding her breath and closing her eyes at which point you dunk them under the water and back up again. Well Isabelle HATED it, she managed to swallow water despite this technique, and burst into tears. The result of this ONE isolated incidence was months and months of the followed: at each class she would cling on for dear life and whine or cry; even when all we did was sing songs and play with toys and play various games in the water. She absolutely did not want to be there. After a few classes whilst I wanted to push through and get to a breakthrough, there wasn't a moment I didn't consider pulling her out of the class. Was this negative experience going to make her hate swimming for ever ?
Then Sebastien was born at the end of October and we were so busy with him, and at the same time the winter arrived and we stopped classes altogether. In fact we lost our slot as many parents continued through the winter and had to wait all over again for a slot. I thought the break would work. It didn't. When we resumed in the summer of 2010 again, it was the same thing all over again. Tears and trauma, again we decided to give it a few turns and see what happens. Finally on saturday in August I decided that's it this is the last class, and that day she actually giggled during the class. Incidentally we never dunked her head again after the first few times went so wrong. We thought she needed to just be happy again in the water first. After that breakthrough class I thought 'yes we can do this'. I took Isabelle a few extra sessions just on my own with my mother was who was with us in HK and then we all went away for our summer holiday to LA. The real breakthrough came there. Almost everyday in the pool she built her confidence and was having fun.
We are back now and back to swim classes and we have days where she is very happy and wants to be as independent as possible and days where she still gets clingy. She still doesn't love going under the water but if she does she at least isn't in tears. It's taken a long time, Isabelle is now 2yrs and 4mths as I write this.
The question however is why do we feel compelled as parents to have our kids start these things as soon as possible. Is there really a difference between starting at 6mth and starting at 3yrs ? Does she want to be a swim champion??
I think recognising that the world we live in can be so pushy when it comes to our kids is really important and armed with that, we can step back and make more sensible decisions.
Sebastien's 1st swimming experience was also in Sanya, Hainan Island where we went for a short Easter break. He was also around 6mths, and true to his character when trying anything new, he burst straight into tears. He really doesn't like the temperature change and you know what....?? This time I am not going to push it. He will swim when he is good and ready.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Playgroups and Gyms
Hong Kong isn't short of extracurricular activities for toddlers and babies and half the time it's more about finding the right balance for them than finding a place for them. You can fill your baby's day 7 days a week if you wanted to, but over stimulation is really not a good thing either. When Isabelle was in her 1st year I found that 2 organised activities a week and a play date at home were plenty, anything in addition to that just comprised to taking her for a walk in her stroller. By the time she started pre-school 3 mornings a week at around 13mths old we kept t that schedule and now that she goes 5 mornings a week we have 3 afternoons that we fill with organised activities. I'm trying to do something similar for Sebastien too now that he is 10mths old
So where can you send them for organised activities.
My Gym, Kids Gallery and Gymbree are my favourite. But there is also Panda and many more.
So what do they provide.
Gymboree has different activities that include the below:
- GymCore (these are the sessions in the main padded room, themed each week and tailored to different age groups. There is circle time with song, exploration time around the room based on the theme of the day, there is parachute time (the kids get under the parachute or sit over it and sing songs) and there is bubble time, and off course Gymbo the clown is always around for a cuddle.
- Gymboree Art - this is great for kids to learn different colours and textures, they create art using all sorts of things like brushes, sponges, fabric, sequins you name it. Lots of fun
- Gymboree Music - all about learning rhythm using different fun instruments, and singing songs
I found that GymCore was great from 6mth to 18mths, after that 'parachute time' and 'bubble time' weren't so exciting anymore and My Gym was MUCH better for an active toddler.
Gymboree Art is great for toddlers and Gymboree Music is again great for ALL ages.
My Gym is brilliant for toddler, its a large safe room with all sorts of gymnasium activities like swings, bars, trampolines and s much more, they also have circle time, themes to follow for the day. They do however have the longest waiting list so best to sign up well in advance.
Kids Gallery is great for toddlers too, again they provide a variety of arts and crafts classes but we love the Ballet there and it's one of the few places that has ballet for under 2's. They go accompanied at first and after 2 they can go on their own to class.
I don't know PANDA well so if anyone would like to comment please do so.
details for the gyms are below
Gymboree
31st Floor, Universal Trade Centre, 3 Arbuthnot Road Central HK
+852 2899 2210
info@gymboree.com.hk
www.gymboree.com.hk
My Gym
17th Floor. Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852.2577.3322
admin@mygymhk.com
www.mygymhk.com
Kids Gallery
21/F Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852 2501 4842
infoHK@kidsgallery.com
www.kidsgallery.com
So where can you send them for organised activities.
My Gym, Kids Gallery and Gymbree are my favourite. But there is also Panda and many more.
So what do they provide.
Gymboree has different activities that include the below:
- GymCore (these are the sessions in the main padded room, themed each week and tailored to different age groups. There is circle time with song, exploration time around the room based on the theme of the day, there is parachute time (the kids get under the parachute or sit over it and sing songs) and there is bubble time, and off course Gymbo the clown is always around for a cuddle.
- Gymboree Art - this is great for kids to learn different colours and textures, they create art using all sorts of things like brushes, sponges, fabric, sequins you name it. Lots of fun
- Gymboree Music - all about learning rhythm using different fun instruments, and singing songs
I found that GymCore was great from 6mth to 18mths, after that 'parachute time' and 'bubble time' weren't so exciting anymore and My Gym was MUCH better for an active toddler.
Gymboree Art is great for toddlers and Gymboree Music is again great for ALL ages.
My Gym is brilliant for toddler, its a large safe room with all sorts of gymnasium activities like swings, bars, trampolines and s much more, they also have circle time, themes to follow for the day. They do however have the longest waiting list so best to sign up well in advance.
Kids Gallery is great for toddlers too, again they provide a variety of arts and crafts classes but we love the Ballet there and it's one of the few places that has ballet for under 2's. They go accompanied at first and after 2 they can go on their own to class.
I don't know PANDA well so if anyone would like to comment please do so.
details for the gyms are below
Gymboree
31st Floor, Universal Trade Centre, 3 Arbuthnot Road Central HK
+852 2899 2210
info@gymboree.com.hk
www.gymboree.com.hk
My Gym
17th Floor. Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852.2577.3322
admin@mygymhk.com
www.mygymhk.com
Kids Gallery
21/F Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852 2501 4842
infoHK@kidsgallery.com
www.kidsgallery.com
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