I went to a worshop at Isabelle's school last night on "The Will' (as in the will of the child) and I really thought it was great. I have to admit that whilst Isabelle is at a Montossori school I don't know nearly enough about the principles as I should. I found the workshop really useful though and here are some of the notes I took. The section at the end starts to cover 'DISCIPLINE' which in itself is such a huge topic that I'm going to cover it seperately in another post.
The ‘WILL’
So what is Montessori about? And how is it different to other schools? There are a whole host of things that are different from traditional school. Here are some of them:
(1)Movement – children are not asked to sit still, based on the understanding that until the age of 6 children can’t sit still for extended periods of time anyway. They are allowed to move around in the classroom, and to the untrained eye it can look like chaos.
(2)Choice/Freedom – children are allowed to choose the work they do, that doesn’t mean that if they choose art all year, that they never learn how to write. Choice is given but also carefully monitored and recorded in notes and children are steered by trained teachers to other work to make sure they get the right exposure to the whole curriculum. It’s all about ‘like what you do and not do what you like’.
(3)Vertical grouping – children of different ages are placed in the same classroom (0-3, 3-6 etc) so that the older ones can teach the younger ones and the younger ones learn from the older ones (they seem to be more receptive to this than learning from adults)
(4)One on One teaching – teaching is done on a 1 to 1 basis with teachers going around the room and spending individual time with each child
(5)No testing – no traditional testing, testing is done, but it’s much more subtle. And teaching happens in 3 stages. For example “this is a pen’ “the pen writes’ and then “what is this?” stages of learning
(6)No correcting – if a child makes a mistake, the mistake is not pointed out, the correct thing is just repeated
(7)Purposeful work – this is all about things being appropriate for their age and size, small brooms, small chair etc
(8)Free to talk – not asked to sit in silence
(9)No punishment just natural consequences
(10)LIMITS – and with all the above come limits, eg free to talk but not shout, free to move but not run, free to choose the work but given only the right selection of choices
The WILL is defined as a driving force that makes the child want to do something. Two important things we have to accept if we are to understand the will :
(1) childen under 3 do not OBEY, if it looks like they are doing what they are told, it’s because they wanted to do it anyway. They do not obey.
(2) children under 3 can not be reasoned with. The part of the brain that allows reasoning hasn’t even developed yet
At this age they also:
1) Copy EVERYTHING whether you think they see or feel or hear it
2) Escape reality
3) Can’t control their voluntary movements
There seems to be a really fine balance between nurturing the child’s WILL without letting it run riot and not suffocating the child so that the WILL is broken. This is where the whole area of discipline opens up and its HOW you discipline your child that will determine what happens to their will.
Some of the things that are important
- No mixed messages from parents, its 6pm is bath time it has to always be bath time and not suddenly play time because dad is home from work and wants to have some play time – kids are not toys, we have to respect them. Hand in hand with this one goes UNITED front.
- They thrive on routine and things being the SAME one day to the next. This is important with what they play with too, they need to play with one toy and be allowed to repeat and repeat and repeat. It doesn’t bore them ! they thrive on this. It allows them to develop their concentration skills. What I do is take 3 toys out of the toy chest each week (and a week is the right amount of time) and leave them on the table in Isabelle’s room. Each day she has the choice which of the 3or 4 she wants to play with. With their toys you can leave out 3 or 4 things for them to choose from but usually when you give a toddler choice its TWO things, ‘would you like to wear the blue shoes or red shoes’ ‘ would you like banana or apple’.
- Don’t use NO so often that you desensitize them to it, use it carefully so that when you do and you mean it they will know it
- let them be creative and let them discover, as long as they are safe don't do EVERYTHING for them, let them work it out for themselves
This isn't even the tip of the iceburge, it's really just a taster. There was a lot more on discipline and I've decided to cover it in a different post
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Your Party? Baby's Party
Your baby's 1st birthday party is a really big deal, specially for baby #1, and you know what, even for baby #2; and since I don't have a #3 I can't really say, but for me the novelty of it or how special it was, hadn't worn off. Last weekend Sebastien turned 1 and I wanted to make as big a deal about it. In some respects I made an even bigger deal because this time around I myself had not only experienced doing it once before for Isabelle, but had also been a guest at several parties in the last 2 years and learnt a lot of tips.
So do you throw a party for the kids or for the grown-ups? I think it depends on who you know. If you're lucky enough to have had your baby at the same time as your friends, then it's a no brainier. If you were lucky enough to meet lots of mothers at your antenatal classes, managed to stay in touch, started a play group together, or went to lots of activities during the week with other mums....then it's also pretty easy. BUT if you live in HK and found that usually helpers go to the play dates or activities (ie no mums there to meet) or if you work like me, then really the party is pretty much about the adults, as you may not know any other kids the same age.
I decided to invite about 12-15 of my good friends. Of course they come with other halves and with their kids. The difficulty in this approach is that now you have several different audiences to keep happy. The adults and then kids who are of a wider age range than if you had just 1 yr olds. I was dealing with 5mth through to 6yrs. So I decided to split them (and my apartment) into 3 groups/ares. The balcony and the living room area near it for the adults, the main living room/ dining room area for the 0-3 and the outdoor playground grass area for the 3-6 (sounding a bit Montessori I know!).
I removed most of the furniture in my livingroom/dining room and covered the wooden floor with play mats. I lined up lots of toys around the edges and when the toddlers arrived they were all distracted by something different. I had a little table with books and colouring for the older kids and even a soft padded area and playpen for the babies.
For the 0-3 I called on Kindermusik by Catherine
www.kateskids.com.hk
They were great. They sent a lovely lady over (Chinese but raised in Scotland) with a lound fun voice. She gathered the babies and toddlers in a cirlce and sang songs, played music instruments, blew bubbles and played with a parachute. They LOVED it.
For the 3-6 I called on JOSE the magician
www.birthdays.hk
He was really good and the adults even got into it. They were outside in the playground on the grass with picnic blankets laid out for them.
RELISH did the food and wine (aminly for the adults but for the kids too) and they really are fantastic, the quality of canapes and salads is great; they come along with waitors and a chef that assembles everything on site. It was so smoothly and seamlessly done.
www.relish-kitchen.com
and of course the MIKEY MOUSE cake and cupcakes - thank you to Complete Deelite who I have used for a few years now, they do fantastic cakes and cupcakes, their 3D ones are really very well done!
http://completedeelite.com/v2/
For the invites I always use Progressive Press. Steve and Bonnie there are brilliant, they took care of EVERYTHING for my weddings (invites, table names, table menus, church programs you name it). I've used them since for the kids Christenings and birthdays. They always do a really professional job
bonnie@progressivepress.com.hk
For the going away gifts (as well as themed paper cups and plates) I like to use Toys Club on Duddell Street (13th floor I think in Baskerville House). They have a special section for going home gifts.
Complete Deelite did the helium filled ballons (life size Mikey plus lots of normal ones too)
All in all it took a fair bit of planning - whilst also working - but everyone, specially the kids had a fantastic time. AND MY SON IS NOW ONE
So do you throw a party for the kids or for the grown-ups? I think it depends on who you know. If you're lucky enough to have had your baby at the same time as your friends, then it's a no brainier. If you were lucky enough to meet lots of mothers at your antenatal classes, managed to stay in touch, started a play group together, or went to lots of activities during the week with other mums....then it's also pretty easy. BUT if you live in HK and found that usually helpers go to the play dates or activities (ie no mums there to meet) or if you work like me, then really the party is pretty much about the adults, as you may not know any other kids the same age.
I decided to invite about 12-15 of my good friends. Of course they come with other halves and with their kids. The difficulty in this approach is that now you have several different audiences to keep happy. The adults and then kids who are of a wider age range than if you had just 1 yr olds. I was dealing with 5mth through to 6yrs. So I decided to split them (and my apartment) into 3 groups/ares. The balcony and the living room area near it for the adults, the main living room/ dining room area for the 0-3 and the outdoor playground grass area for the 3-6 (sounding a bit Montessori I know!).
I removed most of the furniture in my livingroom/dining room and covered the wooden floor with play mats. I lined up lots of toys around the edges and when the toddlers arrived they were all distracted by something different. I had a little table with books and colouring for the older kids and even a soft padded area and playpen for the babies.
For the 0-3 I called on Kindermusik by Catherine
www.kateskids.com.hk
They were great. They sent a lovely lady over (Chinese but raised in Scotland) with a lound fun voice. She gathered the babies and toddlers in a cirlce and sang songs, played music instruments, blew bubbles and played with a parachute. They LOVED it.
For the 3-6 I called on JOSE the magician
www.birthdays.hk
He was really good and the adults even got into it. They were outside in the playground on the grass with picnic blankets laid out for them.
RELISH did the food and wine (aminly for the adults but for the kids too) and they really are fantastic, the quality of canapes and salads is great; they come along with waitors and a chef that assembles everything on site. It was so smoothly and seamlessly done.
www.relish-kitchen.com
and of course the MIKEY MOUSE cake and cupcakes - thank you to Complete Deelite who I have used for a few years now, they do fantastic cakes and cupcakes, their 3D ones are really very well done!
http://completedeelite.com/v2/
For the invites I always use Progressive Press. Steve and Bonnie there are brilliant, they took care of EVERYTHING for my weddings (invites, table names, table menus, church programs you name it). I've used them since for the kids Christenings and birthdays. They always do a really professional job
bonnie@progressivepress.com.hk
For the going away gifts (as well as themed paper cups and plates) I like to use Toys Club on Duddell Street (13th floor I think in Baskerville House). They have a special section for going home gifts.
Complete Deelite did the helium filled ballons (life size Mikey plus lots of normal ones too)
All in all it took a fair bit of planning - whilst also working - but everyone, specially the kids had a fantastic time. AND MY SON IS NOW ONE
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Books I would recommend
I was pretty lucky when it came to baby books, I didn't go out and buy 100s to them like a few, I was given some fabulous recommendations from friends, went out and bought just those and loved them. Gina Ford being the one I took to the most. I had never heard of her and when I googled her there was immediately controversy around her name. I had 4 good friends and my cousin who swore by her but them lots of opposition to her on the internet, saying things likes 'how can someone who has never had a baby write a baby book'. The point is she is a midwife and has helped raise 100s of children and help countless parents with feeding and sleeping issues by going into their homes and solving bad habits. A milder version of her system is the Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer....any more on these below.
BOOK LIST
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING by Heidi Murkuff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway - this was like a manual more than a book. Chapters are divided into Months of your pregnancy "The First Month, The Second Month etc...) Each month outlines the development of your baby, and what symptoms you might be having and also addresses some more common concerns mother's have had in the past. Some of the sections are QUESTIONS....eg a question posed by a mother and then the reply. I used to put a star next to any symptoms that I was having. It's funny looking back at it now as there is a red star for Isabelle and a blue star for Sebastien and you can see how different pregnancies can be. At the back there is a section on notes for each month, it's fun reading those again too. Chapter 14 covers labour and delivery, Chapter 15 looks at the first week after birth, and Chapter 6 looks at the next 6 weeks. Chapter 17 is for dads. MAKE YOUR PARTNER READ THIS !! The last few chapters looks at things like illness during pregnancy, what if something feels wrong and also preparing for the next baby.
THE NEW CONTENDED LITTLE BABY BOOK by GINA FORD: she's written a whole host of books, the best one to read whilst pregnant is this one. This book is all about setting out the routine for your baby in the first year. She covers principles of sleep, how much and when to feed your baby. The whole idea behind the book is to have a baby that feeds enough during the day, and sleeps the correct amount during the day (the focus being not to let a child sleep more than the recommended hours for his age at daytime) to ENSURE that your baby sleeps through the night as soon as possible. On her routine Isabelle was sleeping through the night at 9wks and Sebastien at 12 wks. She does use controlled crying to instil good sleeping habits (ie a child that doesn't beed a sleeping aid like being rocked to sleep, given a dummy etc). And she does say that you have to limit a child's daytime sleep to ensure they sleep well at night (and this does mean waking up a sleeping baby when nap time is over - hence some of the controversy around her system). I swear by her however.
THE COMPLETE SLEEP GUIDE by GINA FORD - this goes into more detail about sleep. Problem areas tend to be early morning waking, middle of the night waking, difficulty with the lunch time nap and she addresses these in detail with case studies. They really helped me, I had early morning rising issues with Isabelle and when she recommended reducing the lunch time nap (which didn't seem in any way related to me) suddenly the problem stopped. HONESTLY IT WORKS !
THE CONTENDED LITTLE BOOK OF WEANING by GINA FORD - again in this book she covers the details around weaning, how to start in the first few days and weeks and how it all relates to their sleep patterns. With Gina Ford there is always a 10.30pm feed and she guides you through how once weaning is fully established you can drop this 10.30pm feed. Up until this stage your baby will be sleeping from 11pm to 7am. IT IS AT THIS STAGE WHEN THIS 10.30PM FEED IS DROPPED THAT YOUR BABY WILL SLEEP FROM 7PM TO 7AM !!! and it works !
SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER by TRACY HOGG. Hogg has a softer approach to schedules but nonetheless also believes that children thrive on routine. I loved this book and found it so much more gentle than Gin Ford, having said that I followed Gina Ford's schedules but with some of Tracy Hogg's principles; and to both I added what worked for me, which really is what it's all about
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS SICK by PROFESSOR MIDDLETON, DR RATCHFORD, DR MACKENZIE, DR SMITH. This book is great as a fast reference at home. The first chapter gives you some basics on anatomy & physiology; basics on how the body works. I didn't really use this book much in the first year; instead I ran to the doctor at the first sign of anything. Eventually however you will use it. It covers all the basics as well as a good CPR section.
HE'S HAVING A BABY by JACK O'SULLIVAN. This book is just a bit of fun for dads. It lets them have something on their bedside table too even though it won't match your pile. It's not a detailed book but skims the A-Z surface. Everything from early planning, to spotting labour pains right through to how to deal with a tiny new baby & nappy changing (lots of photos !!).
WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST YEAR by Heidi Murkuff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway . This is from the same "what to expect' series. WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING covers you up to the birth. This books covers the first year month by month much in the same style and ....
WHAT TO EXPECT THE TODDLER YEARS by HEIDI MURKOFF covers you for the toddler years. This whole series is a great manual on all the basic principles; no one's system, just some plane facts on growth, development, illness you name it.
THE CONTENDED TODDLER YEARS by GINA FORD and POTTY TRAINING IN A WEEK by GINA FORD are great for toddlers. She expands on the routines to cater for your toddler AND the potty training method she employes also works. I started Isabelle on it quite young; she was 18 mths old when we started and given that she was so young it actually took us 10 days and not 7 days. When we went out we still used pull ups (which Gina Ford doesn't agree with on the basis that you can't tell a child they shouldn't wet themselves and then have occasions when they are allowed to because they are in pull up - mixed messages that they are not old enough to process. She teaches potty training on the sole basis of deciphering wet from dry). However we did still have occasions we used pull ups and whilst they were dry 90% of the time we had occasional accidents. By the time Isabelle was 20mths old we had lost the pull ups too and she was FULLY potty trained
THE CONTENDED BABY WITH TODDLER BOOK by GINA FORD. This book was a godsend. I remember thinking 'good lord now that I am pregnant with baby two I have to go through Gina Ford's baby schedule and merge it with her toddler schedule and somehow make it all work.....AND THEN I SPOTTED THIS BOOK. It sounds very silly but honestly it was one of the best days ever! The relief that someone else had done the hard work was overwhelming. And true to form it works and we still follow it.
SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER FOR TODDLERS by TRACY HOGG. Again another wonderful book by Tracy Hogg on toddler sensibilities and how to deal with them without pulling your hair out. Better than this for me was
NEW TODDLER TAMING by DR CHRISTOPHER GREEN. I really loved this book and still use it as a guide with Isabelle. It was recommended to me by our wonderful paediatrician in London Dr Stanley Rom who is a total gem by the way
Some links:
www.contentedbaby.com or www.contentedtoddler.com - you can join with an annual fee and access a multitude of case studies to help. A god send. Highly recommended.
www.babywhispererforums.com
www.whattoexpect.com
www.babycenter.com - you can register for free and they will send you a newsletter each week on the progress of your pregnancy or even after the birth on the progress of your baby (what to expect type stuff) I loved receiving their emails !! Highly recommended
BOOK LIST
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING by Heidi Murkuff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway - this was like a manual more than a book. Chapters are divided into Months of your pregnancy "The First Month, The Second Month etc...) Each month outlines the development of your baby, and what symptoms you might be having and also addresses some more common concerns mother's have had in the past. Some of the sections are QUESTIONS....eg a question posed by a mother and then the reply. I used to put a star next to any symptoms that I was having. It's funny looking back at it now as there is a red star for Isabelle and a blue star for Sebastien and you can see how different pregnancies can be. At the back there is a section on notes for each month, it's fun reading those again too. Chapter 14 covers labour and delivery, Chapter 15 looks at the first week after birth, and Chapter 6 looks at the next 6 weeks. Chapter 17 is for dads. MAKE YOUR PARTNER READ THIS !! The last few chapters looks at things like illness during pregnancy, what if something feels wrong and also preparing for the next baby.
THE NEW CONTENDED LITTLE BABY BOOK by GINA FORD: she's written a whole host of books, the best one to read whilst pregnant is this one. This book is all about setting out the routine for your baby in the first year. She covers principles of sleep, how much and when to feed your baby. The whole idea behind the book is to have a baby that feeds enough during the day, and sleeps the correct amount during the day (the focus being not to let a child sleep more than the recommended hours for his age at daytime) to ENSURE that your baby sleeps through the night as soon as possible. On her routine Isabelle was sleeping through the night at 9wks and Sebastien at 12 wks. She does use controlled crying to instil good sleeping habits (ie a child that doesn't beed a sleeping aid like being rocked to sleep, given a dummy etc). And she does say that you have to limit a child's daytime sleep to ensure they sleep well at night (and this does mean waking up a sleeping baby when nap time is over - hence some of the controversy around her system). I swear by her however.
THE COMPLETE SLEEP GUIDE by GINA FORD - this goes into more detail about sleep. Problem areas tend to be early morning waking, middle of the night waking, difficulty with the lunch time nap and she addresses these in detail with case studies. They really helped me, I had early morning rising issues with Isabelle and when she recommended reducing the lunch time nap (which didn't seem in any way related to me) suddenly the problem stopped. HONESTLY IT WORKS !
THE CONTENDED LITTLE BOOK OF WEANING by GINA FORD - again in this book she covers the details around weaning, how to start in the first few days and weeks and how it all relates to their sleep patterns. With Gina Ford there is always a 10.30pm feed and she guides you through how once weaning is fully established you can drop this 10.30pm feed. Up until this stage your baby will be sleeping from 11pm to 7am. IT IS AT THIS STAGE WHEN THIS 10.30PM FEED IS DROPPED THAT YOUR BABY WILL SLEEP FROM 7PM TO 7AM !!! and it works !
SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER by TRACY HOGG. Hogg has a softer approach to schedules but nonetheless also believes that children thrive on routine. I loved this book and found it so much more gentle than Gin Ford, having said that I followed Gina Ford's schedules but with some of Tracy Hogg's principles; and to both I added what worked for me, which really is what it's all about
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS SICK by PROFESSOR MIDDLETON, DR RATCHFORD, DR MACKENZIE, DR SMITH. This book is great as a fast reference at home. The first chapter gives you some basics on anatomy & physiology; basics on how the body works. I didn't really use this book much in the first year; instead I ran to the doctor at the first sign of anything. Eventually however you will use it. It covers all the basics as well as a good CPR section.
HE'S HAVING A BABY by JACK O'SULLIVAN. This book is just a bit of fun for dads. It lets them have something on their bedside table too even though it won't match your pile. It's not a detailed book but skims the A-Z surface. Everything from early planning, to spotting labour pains right through to how to deal with a tiny new baby & nappy changing (lots of photos !!).
WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST YEAR by Heidi Murkuff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway . This is from the same "what to expect' series. WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING covers you up to the birth. This books covers the first year month by month much in the same style and ....
WHAT TO EXPECT THE TODDLER YEARS by HEIDI MURKOFF covers you for the toddler years. This whole series is a great manual on all the basic principles; no one's system, just some plane facts on growth, development, illness you name it.
THE CONTENDED TODDLER YEARS by GINA FORD and POTTY TRAINING IN A WEEK by GINA FORD are great for toddlers. She expands on the routines to cater for your toddler AND the potty training method she employes also works. I started Isabelle on it quite young; she was 18 mths old when we started and given that she was so young it actually took us 10 days and not 7 days. When we went out we still used pull ups (which Gina Ford doesn't agree with on the basis that you can't tell a child they shouldn't wet themselves and then have occasions when they are allowed to because they are in pull up - mixed messages that they are not old enough to process. She teaches potty training on the sole basis of deciphering wet from dry). However we did still have occasions we used pull ups and whilst they were dry 90% of the time we had occasional accidents. By the time Isabelle was 20mths old we had lost the pull ups too and she was FULLY potty trained
THE CONTENDED BABY WITH TODDLER BOOK by GINA FORD. This book was a godsend. I remember thinking 'good lord now that I am pregnant with baby two I have to go through Gina Ford's baby schedule and merge it with her toddler schedule and somehow make it all work.....AND THEN I SPOTTED THIS BOOK. It sounds very silly but honestly it was one of the best days ever! The relief that someone else had done the hard work was overwhelming. And true to form it works and we still follow it.
SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER FOR TODDLERS by TRACY HOGG. Again another wonderful book by Tracy Hogg on toddler sensibilities and how to deal with them without pulling your hair out. Better than this for me was
NEW TODDLER TAMING by DR CHRISTOPHER GREEN. I really loved this book and still use it as a guide with Isabelle. It was recommended to me by our wonderful paediatrician in London Dr Stanley Rom who is a total gem by the way
Some links:
www.contentedbaby.com or www.contentedtoddler.com - you can join with an annual fee and access a multitude of case studies to help. A god send. Highly recommended.
www.babywhispererforums.com
www.whattoexpect.com
www.babycenter.com - you can register for free and they will send you a newsletter each week on the progress of your pregnancy or even after the birth on the progress of your baby (what to expect type stuff) I loved receiving their emails !! Highly recommended
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Pre Natal Depression
PRENATAL DEPRESSION
Everyone knows about baby blues after you've given birth and the more serious post natal depression but we never hear about depression that occurs during pregnancy or prenatal depression. I've read on various websites and in research paper that there could be as 70% of all pregnant woman that will experience at some stage some of the symptoms of depression during their pregnancy. Thats a high enough number not to ignore and certainly something we should all be able to talk about.
To experience SOME of the symptoms at SOME stage in the 9mths sounded a bit vague so when I looked into it I discovered that in fact these depressive symptoms are often more minor than a full flown diagnostic depression which is typically only seen in about 10-15% of pregnant women. There's a huge difference between having a bad day and being clinally depressed, crying because you feel fat and being clinically depressed, feeling like you'll be a dreadful mother and being clinically depressed.
That's why it's important to realise that whilst hormones have a bad name, they really are only part of the problem. Stress of pregnancy is another huge factor; and stress comes for many reasons, was the pregnancy planned? the finances involved, will you be moving house? giving up work? your own relationship ups and downs and many more.....
The problem with depression when you are pregant is that it has other implications on how you eat, sleep, exercise etc...all of which impact your baby and all of which then create a cycle to make the depression worse.
I found from talking to women with pre natal depression (the more serious cases) that they felt very confused; they knew they should be happy but couldn't understand why they felt so low.
The biggest issue with depression during a pregnancy is spotting it. So many of the symptoms are the same as pregnancy symptoms. Some woman walk around with clinical depression for months thinking they are just having a tough pregnancy.
The main symptoms are:
Problems concentrating
Problems with sleeping
Fatigue
Changes in eating habits
Feeling anxious
Irritability
Feeling down/low
So what can you do to help? TELL SOMEONE. Whether that's your partner? best friend? mother? doctor? midwife? Just tell SOMEONE. Let someone know and that in itself is a big step. You need a support network and failing that you should reach out to a psychologist. In somecases you can talk it through and in other cases medication is used. I don't believe in it's use generally (and there are some safe ones for pregnancy) but I also know of woman who wouln't have made it through on thier own despite their support network.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Everything our parents did, but are told not to do...
You've probably all seen this email that went around. I thought it would be amusing to share it again here before some of the real issues:
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…….
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!
But really AMUSING is all this email was, there are a million 'NO, NO's in there' Most of which I will leave to you to figure out, but I do have some interesting info below:
Despite years of confusing, mixed messages about whether red wine, chocolate, fish, coffee or eggs are good for us or maybe somehow toxic, there have been enough randomized clinical trials to offer some undeniable truths: high cholesterol, low exercise, excessive sun, inhaling cigarette smoke, failing to wear a seatbelt, and excessive drinking while pregnant can hurt you (or your baby). They may not, but they CAN, or quite likely will, depending on the behavior. Studies in the U.S have shown that death rates from heart disease have dropped by 50% in the last 20 years — about half the decline is thought to be due to prevention.
“It would be a disservice to say that (modern, healthier habits) don’t make any difference,”. That was a quote by Dr. Daniel Berman, chief of cardiac imaging at Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles. He went on to say “I’m 100 percent convinced that the things we’re doing are extending our younger years.
Berman was also quoted saying the more controversial “The bottom line is that things like bike accidents where a kid died because they didn’t wear a helmet, were rarely occurred. But if your kid happened to fall and was 1 out of 10,000 who died, you must live with knowing it was preventable,”.
Genetics has a role to play too ! Our longevity is rooted in our DNA — 50 percent of our health outcome in fact is estimated to be determined by our chromosomes. You only have to look at Winston Churchill. He smoked cigars, was overweight and yet lived to 90; and yet athletes with healthy lifestyles have dies of heart attacks at 52.
As a parent some things are obvious to me, the health precautions like not drinking or smoking whilst pregnant, not smoking around children, sleeping babies on their back to prevent cot death (see my section on SIDS for other advice), wearing helmets, vaccinating our kids etc.....
It's the less obvious I struggle with. When Isabelle was around 10mths I bought a baby walker, similar to one I had as a baby, only to find out that they were not recommended for use at all. Was it for obvious reasons like they could walk off over the end of a flight of stairs? or walk into a book shelf and bring everything crashing down? Well yes those too, injuries from walkers do exist as would any injuries if you left a child unsupervised. The one that got me was that it is claimed that children using walkers learn to walk later as they are not using their own muscles, nor can they see their feet (the right stimulus) and I even read that it could effect development of the formation of their legs.
Well I didn't throw the walker out. I am most of my generation had them and we all walk just fine. Instead I decided to limit use of it to only a few mths between cruising and walking and only to 10min sessions once in a while.
The list of things we are no longer allowed to do, but that our parents did are endless, some are very sensible and some need to be taken with a pinch of your own salt (make your own minds up). That's just my view anyway.
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…….
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!
But really AMUSING is all this email was, there are a million 'NO, NO's in there' Most of which I will leave to you to figure out, but I do have some interesting info below:
Despite years of confusing, mixed messages about whether red wine, chocolate, fish, coffee or eggs are good for us or maybe somehow toxic, there have been enough randomized clinical trials to offer some undeniable truths: high cholesterol, low exercise, excessive sun, inhaling cigarette smoke, failing to wear a seatbelt, and excessive drinking while pregnant can hurt you (or your baby). They may not, but they CAN, or quite likely will, depending on the behavior. Studies in the U.S have shown that death rates from heart disease have dropped by 50% in the last 20 years — about half the decline is thought to be due to prevention.
“It would be a disservice to say that (modern, healthier habits) don’t make any difference,”. That was a quote by Dr. Daniel Berman, chief of cardiac imaging at Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles. He went on to say “I’m 100 percent convinced that the things we’re doing are extending our younger years.
Berman was also quoted saying the more controversial “The bottom line is that things like bike accidents where a kid died because they didn’t wear a helmet, were rarely occurred. But if your kid happened to fall and was 1 out of 10,000 who died, you must live with knowing it was preventable,”.
Genetics has a role to play too ! Our longevity is rooted in our DNA — 50 percent of our health outcome in fact is estimated to be determined by our chromosomes. You only have to look at Winston Churchill. He smoked cigars, was overweight and yet lived to 90; and yet athletes with healthy lifestyles have dies of heart attacks at 52.
As a parent some things are obvious to me, the health precautions like not drinking or smoking whilst pregnant, not smoking around children, sleeping babies on their back to prevent cot death (see my section on SIDS for other advice), wearing helmets, vaccinating our kids etc.....
It's the less obvious I struggle with. When Isabelle was around 10mths I bought a baby walker, similar to one I had as a baby, only to find out that they were not recommended for use at all. Was it for obvious reasons like they could walk off over the end of a flight of stairs? or walk into a book shelf and bring everything crashing down? Well yes those too, injuries from walkers do exist as would any injuries if you left a child unsupervised. The one that got me was that it is claimed that children using walkers learn to walk later as they are not using their own muscles, nor can they see their feet (the right stimulus) and I even read that it could effect development of the formation of their legs.
Well I didn't throw the walker out. I am most of my generation had them and we all walk just fine. Instead I decided to limit use of it to only a few mths between cruising and walking and only to 10min sessions once in a while.
The list of things we are no longer allowed to do, but that our parents did are endless, some are very sensible and some need to be taken with a pinch of your own salt (make your own minds up). That's just my view anyway.
Breastfeeding or Formula ?
'Breast is Best' vs 'Well I grew up on formula and I'm just fine'
The big debate that will go on as long as mother's give birth to babies. Both sides of the argument are sound, breast is the most natural way to feed your baby. It's on tap, its loaded with nutrients (provided you are eating well !! ) and it doesn't requiring mixing, heating, storing or working out how much to take with you when you are out and about. The downside for me what that I never really knew how much my baby was feeding and if it was enough.
Equally however formula contains all the nutrients a baby needs and even when you consider the antibodies it lacks that breast milk does have, there is no evidence of stronger or weaker immune systems in adults that were formula fed versus breast fed. It also means you know how much your baby is having and when and typically as it can be richer, formula feb babies sleep through the night sooner. It also means someone else can help with the night feeds !! Enter daddy.
One thing is for sure though, neither method comes without it's own set of issues. Some mother's simply can't breastfeed. For a variety of reasons from being unable to get a good latch, to simply not producing enough milk. Why can't some mother's produce milk if it's the most natural way to feed their newborn? sometimes it's the mother's nutrition, sometimes psychological issues, and other times there IS no reason. I really struggled with breastfeeding Isabelle. To me it felt like the most UNNATURAL thing. I couldn't get her to latch on properly so as a result instead of my nipple being far back on her soft palate, it would rest of her hard palate leaving me sore and bleeding and once that starts, so starts a viscous cycle that makes it harder and harder. I also wasn't producing enough milk as I wasn't really eating that well as I had big time baby blues in the 1st few weeks; and as you know the more you make, the more your baby feeds the more it stimulates the breasts to make more. I was the opposite and the more time passed the less milk I made. And not even good milky milk; it started to look very clear and grey, and eventually the doctors told me I had to supplement with formula as Isabelle wasn't gaining enough weight. With Sebastien it was a totally different story, he latched on well, he drank well, I made good milk and all was well. But then I had to go back to work and I wanted to transition him to formula before my start date.
Formula has it's own set of issues. Isabelle took to the 1st one we tried. Sebastien had VERY bad colic with almost every type of milk we tried. He had colic on breast milk too but the formula made it worse. We tried 3 different milk brands and nothing helped, eventually I switched back to the 1st brand as I felt perhaps I hadn't given it as much of a chance as the others and had moved on from it in my haste to find something better. It was the one that Isabelle had used too and a part of me wanted Sebastien to use that one as well. Surprisingly it DID work well. I don't know if it was because I hadn't given it enough of a chance to settle with him the 1st time or whether it had taken so long to wok our way back around to it again that he had actually grown out of his colic Was he dealing better with formula in general or was he dealing better with this brand?
So a little on the science: what do they contain and lack ??
BREAST MILK
FAT: if you take the water out, 50% of breast milk is FAT, and in there a fair bit of cholesterol. Some research shows that this early exposure to cholesterol results in adults with lower cholesterol as they are able to regulate their levels better. The fast cells in breast milk are also smaller (broken down by an enzyme in breast milk called Lipase) than the fat cells in formula (which comes from cow's milk) and therefore easier for babies to digest.
CARBOHYDRATE: makes up 37% of breast milk. The carb in breast milk is lactose (made up of two sugars galactose and glucose). Lactose provides the energy that will allow babies function (breath, eat, cry, grow, and develop).Lactose is also converted to lactic acid which makes the baby’s stomach acidic. This in turn prevents the growth of harmful bacteria.
PROTEIN: There are high levels of protein in colostrum. The sticky thick part of milk that comes in the 1st few days after birth. 60 to 80% of the protein in breast milk is Whey. It's a smooth, liquidly-type of protein that is said to be easier to digest and it is absorbed well in baby’s stomach. This is also why their stool is runny, and they feel hungry more often.. The other important proteins in breast milk are the antibodies (helps fight against bacterial and viral infections), lactoferrin (binds to iron and helps iron absorption. It also prevents the growth of harmful microorganisms that use iron), bifidus factor (encourages the growth of lactobacillus which helps prevents the growth of other harmful stomach bacteria), lipase, amylase, lysozyme, and other enzymes (helps in digestion and creates a healthy environment in the intestines).
VITAMINS & MINERALS: Breast milk advocates say that it is considered to have the perfect combination of nutrients: Vit A, D, C, E, B1, B2, Pantothenic Acid, Biotin, Niocin, Folic Acid, B12, B6. These are just some of the 100 different components. Don't forget CALCIUM !
FORMULA
Infant formula is designed to match the ingredients of breast milk, but an exact replica is not yet possible. The FDA requires all infant formula to comply with strict nutritional requirements. The FDA requires all iron fortified formulas to have at least 12 milligrams of iron per liter and 2 milligrams of iron per liter for low iron formulas. DHA and ARA are also added to formulas to increase proper brain and eye development. A large difference between breast milk and baby formula is that formula contain saturated fats, such as oils and corn syrup. You will also notice that babies fed on infant formula are often fatter than babies fed with breast milk. The other issue is that most infant formulas are cow milk based which in some cases can result in lactose intolerance. For a full breakdown of the components you can go to www.fda.gov
SUMMARY
The MOST IMPORTANT issue I think is to believe in the choice you make and not let anyone tell you that one is better or worse than the other. You can make your choice on convenience, preference, cost, because you are going back to work, or because one is simply easier on you than the other; whatever your reason is, IT'S YOUR REASON, and you should stick to it.
The big debate that will go on as long as mother's give birth to babies. Both sides of the argument are sound, breast is the most natural way to feed your baby. It's on tap, its loaded with nutrients (provided you are eating well !! ) and it doesn't requiring mixing, heating, storing or working out how much to take with you when you are out and about. The downside for me what that I never really knew how much my baby was feeding and if it was enough.
Equally however formula contains all the nutrients a baby needs and even when you consider the antibodies it lacks that breast milk does have, there is no evidence of stronger or weaker immune systems in adults that were formula fed versus breast fed. It also means you know how much your baby is having and when and typically as it can be richer, formula feb babies sleep through the night sooner. It also means someone else can help with the night feeds !! Enter daddy.
One thing is for sure though, neither method comes without it's own set of issues. Some mother's simply can't breastfeed. For a variety of reasons from being unable to get a good latch, to simply not producing enough milk. Why can't some mother's produce milk if it's the most natural way to feed their newborn? sometimes it's the mother's nutrition, sometimes psychological issues, and other times there IS no reason. I really struggled with breastfeeding Isabelle. To me it felt like the most UNNATURAL thing. I couldn't get her to latch on properly so as a result instead of my nipple being far back on her soft palate, it would rest of her hard palate leaving me sore and bleeding and once that starts, so starts a viscous cycle that makes it harder and harder. I also wasn't producing enough milk as I wasn't really eating that well as I had big time baby blues in the 1st few weeks; and as you know the more you make, the more your baby feeds the more it stimulates the breasts to make more. I was the opposite and the more time passed the less milk I made. And not even good milky milk; it started to look very clear and grey, and eventually the doctors told me I had to supplement with formula as Isabelle wasn't gaining enough weight. With Sebastien it was a totally different story, he latched on well, he drank well, I made good milk and all was well. But then I had to go back to work and I wanted to transition him to formula before my start date.
Formula has it's own set of issues. Isabelle took to the 1st one we tried. Sebastien had VERY bad colic with almost every type of milk we tried. He had colic on breast milk too but the formula made it worse. We tried 3 different milk brands and nothing helped, eventually I switched back to the 1st brand as I felt perhaps I hadn't given it as much of a chance as the others and had moved on from it in my haste to find something better. It was the one that Isabelle had used too and a part of me wanted Sebastien to use that one as well. Surprisingly it DID work well. I don't know if it was because I hadn't given it enough of a chance to settle with him the 1st time or whether it had taken so long to wok our way back around to it again that he had actually grown out of his colic Was he dealing better with formula in general or was he dealing better with this brand?
So a little on the science: what do they contain and lack ??
BREAST MILK
FAT: if you take the water out, 50% of breast milk is FAT, and in there a fair bit of cholesterol. Some research shows that this early exposure to cholesterol results in adults with lower cholesterol as they are able to regulate their levels better. The fast cells in breast milk are also smaller (broken down by an enzyme in breast milk called Lipase) than the fat cells in formula (which comes from cow's milk) and therefore easier for babies to digest.
CARBOHYDRATE: makes up 37% of breast milk. The carb in breast milk is lactose (made up of two sugars galactose and glucose). Lactose provides the energy that will allow babies function (breath, eat, cry, grow, and develop).Lactose is also converted to lactic acid which makes the baby’s stomach acidic. This in turn prevents the growth of harmful bacteria.
PROTEIN: There are high levels of protein in colostrum. The sticky thick part of milk that comes in the 1st few days after birth. 60 to 80% of the protein in breast milk is Whey. It's a smooth, liquidly-type of protein that is said to be easier to digest and it is absorbed well in baby’s stomach. This is also why their stool is runny, and they feel hungry more often.. The other important proteins in breast milk are the antibodies (helps fight against bacterial and viral infections), lactoferrin (binds to iron and helps iron absorption. It also prevents the growth of harmful microorganisms that use iron), bifidus factor (encourages the growth of lactobacillus which helps prevents the growth of other harmful stomach bacteria), lipase, amylase, lysozyme, and other enzymes (helps in digestion and creates a healthy environment in the intestines).
VITAMINS & MINERALS: Breast milk advocates say that it is considered to have the perfect combination of nutrients: Vit A, D, C, E, B1, B2, Pantothenic Acid, Biotin, Niocin, Folic Acid, B12, B6. These are just some of the 100 different components. Don't forget CALCIUM !
FORMULA
Infant formula is designed to match the ingredients of breast milk, but an exact replica is not yet possible. The FDA requires all infant formula to comply with strict nutritional requirements. The FDA requires all iron fortified formulas to have at least 12 milligrams of iron per liter and 2 milligrams of iron per liter for low iron formulas. DHA and ARA are also added to formulas to increase proper brain and eye development. A large difference between breast milk and baby formula is that formula contain saturated fats, such as oils and corn syrup. You will also notice that babies fed on infant formula are often fatter than babies fed with breast milk. The other issue is that most infant formulas are cow milk based which in some cases can result in lactose intolerance. For a full breakdown of the components you can go to www.fda.gov
SUMMARY
The MOST IMPORTANT issue I think is to believe in the choice you make and not let anyone tell you that one is better or worse than the other. You can make your choice on convenience, preference, cost, because you are going back to work, or because one is simply easier on you than the other; whatever your reason is, IT'S YOUR REASON, and you should stick to it.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Swim Class - when to start ?
The 1st time we took Isabelle into the water was in Sanya, Hainan Island where we were for a friend's wedding. She had just turned 6mths, the expression on her face (like most new things she has tried) was priceless - utter indifference and an air of 'and so?'.
Back in HK we took plenty of other opportunities to take her to the pool at the LRC and also on subsequent holidays to Dubai and France. She officially started lessons when she was around 16mths old. It had taken up almost a year on the waiting list to get a weekend slot at the LRC ! That's a entirely different issue.
Soap box for a moment: at the LRC nannies are only allowed to drop off and collect children, and are then banished to a room smaller than a prison cell with no natural light, a few plastic chairs and one water dispenser. For working mothers this means that the kids can't enjoy any of the facilities or many activities during the week if they are small enough to need supervision. On certain days of the week nannies are allowed into one of the playrooms (aimed at toddlers) and not the soft padded room that typically babies would go to. So for now Isabelle can go to the playroom with her nanny on some week days but Sebastien has to stay at home. As for the pool....no nannies allowed in the water. And so my dilemma of having to wait a whole year for a saturday slot. My other frustration is that several of the other mother's in the weekend classes are mothers that don't work and could just as easily come on a weekday. Soap box over
So back to the swimming classes. Isabelle LOVED the water and literally couldn't get enough of it; that is until she started the swim classes. In the class they had to be dunked under the water. Parents are taught to blow into their child's face so that the child reacts by holding her breath and closing her eyes at which point you dunk them under the water and back up again. Well Isabelle HATED it, she managed to swallow water despite this technique, and burst into tears. The result of this ONE isolated incidence was months and months of the followed: at each class she would cling on for dear life and whine or cry; even when all we did was sing songs and play with toys and play various games in the water. She absolutely did not want to be there. After a few classes whilst I wanted to push through and get to a breakthrough, there wasn't a moment I didn't consider pulling her out of the class. Was this negative experience going to make her hate swimming for ever ?
Then Sebastien was born at the end of October and we were so busy with him, and at the same time the winter arrived and we stopped classes altogether. In fact we lost our slot as many parents continued through the winter and had to wait all over again for a slot. I thought the break would work. It didn't. When we resumed in the summer of 2010 again, it was the same thing all over again. Tears and trauma, again we decided to give it a few turns and see what happens. Finally on saturday in August I decided that's it this is the last class, and that day she actually giggled during the class. Incidentally we never dunked her head again after the first few times went so wrong. We thought she needed to just be happy again in the water first. After that breakthrough class I thought 'yes we can do this'. I took Isabelle a few extra sessions just on my own with my mother was who was with us in HK and then we all went away for our summer holiday to LA. The real breakthrough came there. Almost everyday in the pool she built her confidence and was having fun.
We are back now and back to swim classes and we have days where she is very happy and wants to be as independent as possible and days where she still gets clingy. She still doesn't love going under the water but if she does she at least isn't in tears. It's taken a long time, Isabelle is now 2yrs and 4mths as I write this.
The question however is why do we feel compelled as parents to have our kids start these things as soon as possible. Is there really a difference between starting at 6mth and starting at 3yrs ? Does she want to be a swim champion??
I think recognising that the world we live in can be so pushy when it comes to our kids is really important and armed with that, we can step back and make more sensible decisions.
Sebastien's 1st swimming experience was also in Sanya, Hainan Island where we went for a short Easter break. He was also around 6mths, and true to his character when trying anything new, he burst straight into tears. He really doesn't like the temperature change and you know what....?? This time I am not going to push it. He will swim when he is good and ready.
Back in HK we took plenty of other opportunities to take her to the pool at the LRC and also on subsequent holidays to Dubai and France. She officially started lessons when she was around 16mths old. It had taken up almost a year on the waiting list to get a weekend slot at the LRC ! That's a entirely different issue.
Soap box for a moment: at the LRC nannies are only allowed to drop off and collect children, and are then banished to a room smaller than a prison cell with no natural light, a few plastic chairs and one water dispenser. For working mothers this means that the kids can't enjoy any of the facilities or many activities during the week if they are small enough to need supervision. On certain days of the week nannies are allowed into one of the playrooms (aimed at toddlers) and not the soft padded room that typically babies would go to. So for now Isabelle can go to the playroom with her nanny on some week days but Sebastien has to stay at home. As for the pool....no nannies allowed in the water. And so my dilemma of having to wait a whole year for a saturday slot. My other frustration is that several of the other mother's in the weekend classes are mothers that don't work and could just as easily come on a weekday. Soap box over
So back to the swimming classes. Isabelle LOVED the water and literally couldn't get enough of it; that is until she started the swim classes. In the class they had to be dunked under the water. Parents are taught to blow into their child's face so that the child reacts by holding her breath and closing her eyes at which point you dunk them under the water and back up again. Well Isabelle HATED it, she managed to swallow water despite this technique, and burst into tears. The result of this ONE isolated incidence was months and months of the followed: at each class she would cling on for dear life and whine or cry; even when all we did was sing songs and play with toys and play various games in the water. She absolutely did not want to be there. After a few classes whilst I wanted to push through and get to a breakthrough, there wasn't a moment I didn't consider pulling her out of the class. Was this negative experience going to make her hate swimming for ever ?
Then Sebastien was born at the end of October and we were so busy with him, and at the same time the winter arrived and we stopped classes altogether. In fact we lost our slot as many parents continued through the winter and had to wait all over again for a slot. I thought the break would work. It didn't. When we resumed in the summer of 2010 again, it was the same thing all over again. Tears and trauma, again we decided to give it a few turns and see what happens. Finally on saturday in August I decided that's it this is the last class, and that day she actually giggled during the class. Incidentally we never dunked her head again after the first few times went so wrong. We thought she needed to just be happy again in the water first. After that breakthrough class I thought 'yes we can do this'. I took Isabelle a few extra sessions just on my own with my mother was who was with us in HK and then we all went away for our summer holiday to LA. The real breakthrough came there. Almost everyday in the pool she built her confidence and was having fun.
We are back now and back to swim classes and we have days where she is very happy and wants to be as independent as possible and days where she still gets clingy. She still doesn't love going under the water but if she does she at least isn't in tears. It's taken a long time, Isabelle is now 2yrs and 4mths as I write this.
The question however is why do we feel compelled as parents to have our kids start these things as soon as possible. Is there really a difference between starting at 6mth and starting at 3yrs ? Does she want to be a swim champion??
I think recognising that the world we live in can be so pushy when it comes to our kids is really important and armed with that, we can step back and make more sensible decisions.
Sebastien's 1st swimming experience was also in Sanya, Hainan Island where we went for a short Easter break. He was also around 6mths, and true to his character when trying anything new, he burst straight into tears. He really doesn't like the temperature change and you know what....?? This time I am not going to push it. He will swim when he is good and ready.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Playgroups and Gyms
Hong Kong isn't short of extracurricular activities for toddlers and babies and half the time it's more about finding the right balance for them than finding a place for them. You can fill your baby's day 7 days a week if you wanted to, but over stimulation is really not a good thing either. When Isabelle was in her 1st year I found that 2 organised activities a week and a play date at home were plenty, anything in addition to that just comprised to taking her for a walk in her stroller. By the time she started pre-school 3 mornings a week at around 13mths old we kept t that schedule and now that she goes 5 mornings a week we have 3 afternoons that we fill with organised activities. I'm trying to do something similar for Sebastien too now that he is 10mths old
So where can you send them for organised activities.
My Gym, Kids Gallery and Gymbree are my favourite. But there is also Panda and many more.
So what do they provide.
Gymboree has different activities that include the below:
- GymCore (these are the sessions in the main padded room, themed each week and tailored to different age groups. There is circle time with song, exploration time around the room based on the theme of the day, there is parachute time (the kids get under the parachute or sit over it and sing songs) and there is bubble time, and off course Gymbo the clown is always around for a cuddle.
- Gymboree Art - this is great for kids to learn different colours and textures, they create art using all sorts of things like brushes, sponges, fabric, sequins you name it. Lots of fun
- Gymboree Music - all about learning rhythm using different fun instruments, and singing songs
I found that GymCore was great from 6mth to 18mths, after that 'parachute time' and 'bubble time' weren't so exciting anymore and My Gym was MUCH better for an active toddler.
Gymboree Art is great for toddlers and Gymboree Music is again great for ALL ages.
My Gym is brilliant for toddler, its a large safe room with all sorts of gymnasium activities like swings, bars, trampolines and s much more, they also have circle time, themes to follow for the day. They do however have the longest waiting list so best to sign up well in advance.
Kids Gallery is great for toddlers too, again they provide a variety of arts and crafts classes but we love the Ballet there and it's one of the few places that has ballet for under 2's. They go accompanied at first and after 2 they can go on their own to class.
I don't know PANDA well so if anyone would like to comment please do so.
details for the gyms are below
Gymboree
31st Floor, Universal Trade Centre, 3 Arbuthnot Road Central HK
+852 2899 2210
info@gymboree.com.hk
www.gymboree.com.hk
My Gym
17th Floor. Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852.2577.3322
admin@mygymhk.com
www.mygymhk.com
Kids Gallery
21/F Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852 2501 4842
infoHK@kidsgallery.com
www.kidsgallery.com
So where can you send them for organised activities.
My Gym, Kids Gallery and Gymbree are my favourite. But there is also Panda and many more.
So what do they provide.
Gymboree has different activities that include the below:
- GymCore (these are the sessions in the main padded room, themed each week and tailored to different age groups. There is circle time with song, exploration time around the room based on the theme of the day, there is parachute time (the kids get under the parachute or sit over it and sing songs) and there is bubble time, and off course Gymbo the clown is always around for a cuddle.
- Gymboree Art - this is great for kids to learn different colours and textures, they create art using all sorts of things like brushes, sponges, fabric, sequins you name it. Lots of fun
- Gymboree Music - all about learning rhythm using different fun instruments, and singing songs
I found that GymCore was great from 6mth to 18mths, after that 'parachute time' and 'bubble time' weren't so exciting anymore and My Gym was MUCH better for an active toddler.
Gymboree Art is great for toddlers and Gymboree Music is again great for ALL ages.
My Gym is brilliant for toddler, its a large safe room with all sorts of gymnasium activities like swings, bars, trampolines and s much more, they also have circle time, themes to follow for the day. They do however have the longest waiting list so best to sign up well in advance.
Kids Gallery is great for toddlers too, again they provide a variety of arts and crafts classes but we love the Ballet there and it's one of the few places that has ballet for under 2's. They go accompanied at first and after 2 they can go on their own to class.
I don't know PANDA well so if anyone would like to comment please do so.
details for the gyms are below
Gymboree
31st Floor, Universal Trade Centre, 3 Arbuthnot Road Central HK
+852 2899 2210
info@gymboree.com.hk
www.gymboree.com.hk
My Gym
17th Floor. Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852.2577.3322
admin@mygymhk.com
www.mygymhk.com
Kids Gallery
21/F Coda Plaza, 51 Garden Road, Central
+852 2501 4842
infoHK@kidsgallery.com
www.kidsgallery.com
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Weaning
This is such an exciting time...the look on your baby's face the first time they eat solids (if you can call watery porridge like baby rice solids!?). Isabelle took her first mouthful and looked at us with a 'yeah and?' expression on her face. When Sebastien took his first mouthful, he looked up and me, thought about it, scrunched up his face and started to cry...very loudly with a 'that's not my milk' look on his face.
So where to start? Traditionally babies were weaned around 4mths old, now it's advised to wait until 6mths unless advised otherwise by your Dr. The theory here being that in fact at 4mths their digestive tracts are not mature enough yet and early weaning can lead to digestive issues later in life. That means an awful lot of us must have digestive issues right? Who knows, advice changes with the wind. For us the Dr said we should start at 5mths. In fact I started both of them just past 5mths. Isabelle took to it really well, Sebastien didn't so I put it off for another 2 weeks and tried again.
In the 1st month of weaning you are not trying to replace their milk. Their milk should still be their main source of nutrition. You are just trying to introduce different tastes to the. Baby rice to start with, then various puree fruits and vegetables. Apple and pear work best as starting fruits, and carrot and pumpkin works a treat for starting veggies. Basically the sweet ones. If you are still giving a 5 or 6 ounce 10.30pm feed to your baby (Gina Ford style) weaning also means you can start to eliminate this feed. Reduce the milk by an ounce every 3 days once you start on solids, and eventually by the 2nd or 3rd week you will cut this feed out altogether.
Durung week 1 of weaning you can start by giving baby rice at the lunch time milk feed (just after the milk) - only a tablespoon or so. This is normally around 11am. By the end of the week you can add a teaspoon or two of fruit puree. Usually it is advised (if you want to be cautious) to try something new for 3 full days before moving onto the next thing as that's when you really know if your child develops an allergy to it or not. I didn't do that, I tried a new fruit every other day. By week 2 you can start to give a 2nd solids meal at super time; and by week 3 a 3rd solids meal at breakfast time.
When you start weaning around 5 or 6 mths your baby could be on as much milk as 26oz. What you are aiming at is that once 3 solid meals are introduced along with 3 milk meals that the milk intake is around 18oz. OF COURSE each baby is very different and you have to tailor this to yours. But you need to work out how to increase the solids and decrease the milk. Eventually by the time you have weaning well established your day will look something like this:
7 am - 6oz milk followed by breakfast of 1-2 table spoon baby rice PLUS 1-2 teaspoon fruit puree.
9am – morning nap for 45mins
11.45 - 2 tablespoons CARBO (eg baby rice / sweet potato) PLUS 2/3 teaspoon VEGGIE puree . drink of water (OR well diluted juice, eg 1 teaspoon of puree fresh juice in 2 oz boiled cooled water)
12.00 - Lunch time nap for 2hrs
2.30 – 6oz milk
4.15 – a drink of cooled boiled water (1-2 oz)
5.00 - 1 or 2 tablespoon baby rice with 3 teaspoon FRUIT puree
6.00 – bath time
6.30 – 6/7oz Milk
7.00 - bedtime
So where to start? Traditionally babies were weaned around 4mths old, now it's advised to wait until 6mths unless advised otherwise by your Dr. The theory here being that in fact at 4mths their digestive tracts are not mature enough yet and early weaning can lead to digestive issues later in life. That means an awful lot of us must have digestive issues right? Who knows, advice changes with the wind. For us the Dr said we should start at 5mths. In fact I started both of them just past 5mths. Isabelle took to it really well, Sebastien didn't so I put it off for another 2 weeks and tried again.
In the 1st month of weaning you are not trying to replace their milk. Their milk should still be their main source of nutrition. You are just trying to introduce different tastes to the. Baby rice to start with, then various puree fruits and vegetables. Apple and pear work best as starting fruits, and carrot and pumpkin works a treat for starting veggies. Basically the sweet ones. If you are still giving a 5 or 6 ounce 10.30pm feed to your baby (Gina Ford style) weaning also means you can start to eliminate this feed. Reduce the milk by an ounce every 3 days once you start on solids, and eventually by the 2nd or 3rd week you will cut this feed out altogether.
Durung week 1 of weaning you can start by giving baby rice at the lunch time milk feed (just after the milk) - only a tablespoon or so. This is normally around 11am. By the end of the week you can add a teaspoon or two of fruit puree. Usually it is advised (if you want to be cautious) to try something new for 3 full days before moving onto the next thing as that's when you really know if your child develops an allergy to it or not. I didn't do that, I tried a new fruit every other day. By week 2 you can start to give a 2nd solids meal at super time; and by week 3 a 3rd solids meal at breakfast time.
When you start weaning around 5 or 6 mths your baby could be on as much milk as 26oz. What you are aiming at is that once 3 solid meals are introduced along with 3 milk meals that the milk intake is around 18oz. OF COURSE each baby is very different and you have to tailor this to yours. But you need to work out how to increase the solids and decrease the milk. Eventually by the time you have weaning well established your day will look something like this:
7 am - 6oz milk followed by breakfast of 1-2 table spoon baby rice PLUS 1-2 teaspoon fruit puree.
9am – morning nap for 45mins
11.45 - 2 tablespoons CARBO (eg baby rice / sweet potato) PLUS 2/3 teaspoon VEGGIE puree . drink of water (OR well diluted juice, eg 1 teaspoon of puree fresh juice in 2 oz boiled cooled water)
12.00 - Lunch time nap for 2hrs
2.30 – 6oz milk
4.15 – a drink of cooled boiled water (1-2 oz)
5.00 - 1 or 2 tablespoon baby rice with 3 teaspoon FRUIT puree
6.00 – bath time
6.30 – 6/7oz Milk
7.00 - bedtime
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Are you a working mother?
Do I feel guilty that I work ? ABSOLUETLY! but you know what? whilst of course there are moments I miss that can never be captured again their are ways to make it work. For a start I'm earning a salary, a salary that will go towards giving my kids a more comfortable life and a better future. Somewhere in that sentence you get the sense that there is no choice, that if one were married to an extremely wealthy man that there would be no need to work. I have two comments to make on that. (1) I know some mothers who don't work and spend even less time with their children than I do (2) there are plenty of mothers who whilst they don't have a salaried job or a high salary job due to the success of their business, run businesses, do charity work etc.. It all comes down to staying ahead of the game and staying stimulated and fullfilled in yourself too.
So how to find the balance
1) I never EVER miss a FIRST (1st ballet class, 1st dentist appointment). I will diarise it into my work diary and I will go to it as if it were a meeting just as important as a work meeting
2) I never leave home before the kids are both awake, I make sure it's me that says goodmorning and gets their day started
3) I have a 3 day a week target where I MUST be home before the go to bed, to read bed time stories, to tuck them in or to just kiss them goodnight and you know what if I get home in time for bath time then HURRAY it's an added bonus.
4) Weekend are ONLY about the kids. Yes it means than anything and I mean ANYTHING that I would want to do on a weekend is out the window, but I don't even think twice about that. Saturday and Sunday are my days to be with my children !!!! It's a no brainer.
Some tough rules to stick by and no it doens't get rid of my guilt but it goes some way in making me feel a bit better. I like to think of myself as very hands on, I may not be home from 7.30am through to 6.30pm Mon to Fri BUT, I micro manage my nannies to such an extent down to the last pee they kids eat for lunch to get as close as possible to me being home and me being the one to make the decisions.
The million dollar question: will I always be a working mother?
I MOST CERTAINLY HOPE NOT :-)
So how to find the balance
1) I never EVER miss a FIRST (1st ballet class, 1st dentist appointment). I will diarise it into my work diary and I will go to it as if it were a meeting just as important as a work meeting
2) I never leave home before the kids are both awake, I make sure it's me that says goodmorning and gets their day started
3) I have a 3 day a week target where I MUST be home before the go to bed, to read bed time stories, to tuck them in or to just kiss them goodnight and you know what if I get home in time for bath time then HURRAY it's an added bonus.
4) Weekend are ONLY about the kids. Yes it means than anything and I mean ANYTHING that I would want to do on a weekend is out the window, but I don't even think twice about that. Saturday and Sunday are my days to be with my children !!!! It's a no brainer.
Some tough rules to stick by and no it doens't get rid of my guilt but it goes some way in making me feel a bit better. I like to think of myself as very hands on, I may not be home from 7.30am through to 6.30pm Mon to Fri BUT, I micro manage my nannies to such an extent down to the last pee they kids eat for lunch to get as close as possible to me being home and me being the one to make the decisions.
The million dollar question: will I always be a working mother?
I MOST CERTAINLY HOPE NOT :-)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Paeditricians & Clinic
I've been through quite a few of these in HK (and abroad) with Isabelle. You think that when baby no 2 comes along you won't be going back and forth to the doctor as much....hhmmm not necessarily true. I've probably been as many times with Sebastien too, the difference is that you are possibly not so worried and stressed out about the whole process.
Some paediatricians in HK
Dr Joseph Pang
Rm 901 Hing Wai Building
36 Queens Road, Central
tel:2526 7633
pager: 7202 8139
Dr Steve Wong
Rm 901 Hing Wai Building
36 Queens Road, Central
tel:2526 7633
pager:7388 7999
Dr Mark Chan
818 Health Professionals
Suite 818 Central Building
1 Peddar Street
tel:2526 6332
mobile: 6629 7322
General Family Practitioners
Dr David Owens / Dr Brigitte Schlaikier
5/F Century Square, 1 D'Aguilar Street Central
Tel: 2521 3181
OR
Room 1501-1503 Shui on Centre, 8 Harbour Road, Wanchai
tel: 2824 9112
Dr Sue Baldwin
Dr Fosters & Stevenson
13/F Hing Wai Building
36 Queens Road, Central
tel:2537 7281
in the UK:
Dr Stanley Rom
+ 44 20 7637 0358
Some paediatricians in HK
Dr Joseph Pang
Rm 901 Hing Wai Building
36 Queens Road, Central
tel:2526 7633
pager: 7202 8139
Dr Steve Wong
Rm 901 Hing Wai Building
36 Queens Road, Central
tel:2526 7633
pager:7388 7999
Dr Mark Chan
818 Health Professionals
Suite 818 Central Building
1 Peddar Street
tel:2526 6332
mobile: 6629 7322
General Family Practitioners
Dr David Owens / Dr Brigitte Schlaikier
5/F Century Square, 1 D'Aguilar Street Central
Tel: 2521 3181
OR
Room 1501-1503 Shui on Centre, 8 Harbour Road, Wanchai
tel: 2824 9112
Dr Sue Baldwin
Dr Fosters & Stevenson
13/F Hing Wai Building
36 Queens Road, Central
tel:2537 7281
in the UK:
Dr Stanley Rom
+ 44 20 7637 0358
Can you prevent the whole household from getting sick when 1 child falls ill?
This week was my first time with both kids sick at the same time. It started on Saturday when Isabelle woke up at 5am saying 'hot mummy! hot!' followed by 'drink water mummy, Isabelle drink water'. We couldn't get her back to sleep so by 10am we were all patiently sitting in the doctor's surgery. Sore throat, fever, cough, runny and congested nose.....When we got home we started the process of 'ISOLATION'. The idea was that if we kept Isabelle away from Sebastien, if we made sure that no one who looks after her then picks up Sebastien, then by some miracle the 2nd child in the same household wouldn't get sick....WRONG!
We followed the strict rules to isolating the children from each other, washing hands and using alcohol if we had to go from one child to the next, changing bedsheets and hand towels each day...did any of it work ? NOPE! First I started to get sick (headache, sore throat, dry cough). Then Isabelle's nanny started to complain of a sore throat and cough, by Thursday morning Sebastien started coughing. Back to the doctor we went. He also had Bronchiolitis and I now had sinusitis on top of everything else (oh and did I mention that Sebastien's nanny also started to get sick?).
It's now Saturday again, after several sleepless nights trying to console 2 inconsolable children, after my own sleepless night last night and prescription of anti-biotics and a bucket full of medicines for everyone else, I've concluded that this is the start of many many many more episodes to come in a household with more than one child. There is nothing you can do to stop the spread, these things are airborne anyway (which reminds we even aired the flat to no avail). You just have to ride the wave. Good hygiene and handwashing are still good practice, as for stopping the spread of anything..? you just have to accept there is nothing you can do and know that this time next weekend we will back to our routine of playgroups and school where a whole host of new viruses are awaiting our arrival with open arms.
We followed the strict rules to isolating the children from each other, washing hands and using alcohol if we had to go from one child to the next, changing bedsheets and hand towels each day...did any of it work ? NOPE! First I started to get sick (headache, sore throat, dry cough). Then Isabelle's nanny started to complain of a sore throat and cough, by Thursday morning Sebastien started coughing. Back to the doctor we went. He also had Bronchiolitis and I now had sinusitis on top of everything else (oh and did I mention that Sebastien's nanny also started to get sick?).
It's now Saturday again, after several sleepless nights trying to console 2 inconsolable children, after my own sleepless night last night and prescription of anti-biotics and a bucket full of medicines for everyone else, I've concluded that this is the start of many many many more episodes to come in a household with more than one child. There is nothing you can do to stop the spread, these things are airborne anyway (which reminds we even aired the flat to no avail). You just have to ride the wave. Good hygiene and handwashing are still good practice, as for stopping the spread of anything..? you just have to accept there is nothing you can do and know that this time next weekend we will back to our routine of playgroups and school where a whole host of new viruses are awaiting our arrival with open arms.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Signs that Baby is ready to sleep through the night?
If you are still feeding your baby once in the middle of the night, and your baby is over 6wks old and weights more than 10 pounds you MIGHT notice that he doesn't really feel all that hungry at his 7am(morning) feed anymore. THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T NEED THAT MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT FEED ANYMORE AND IT'S JUST BECOME A HABIT.
Maternity nurses for years have worked with a concept known as the CORE NIGHT. All it means is that once your baby sleeps for a large chunk through the night, you should never again give your baby a feed in that time even if he wakes; you should let him settle himself back to sleep; and if he can't settle himself you can pat him, use a dummy but not pick him up, as an absolute last resort some people recommend giving cooled boiled water, I found it created the same sleep association as giving milk, except that now your baby is waking up for the water (you are still not getting any sleep !).
Maternity nurses for years have worked with a concept known as the CORE NIGHT. All it means is that once your baby sleeps for a large chunk through the night, you should never again give your baby a feed in that time even if he wakes; you should let him settle himself back to sleep; and if he can't settle himself you can pat him, use a dummy but not pick him up, as an absolute last resort some people recommend giving cooled boiled water, I found it created the same sleep association as giving milk, except that now your baby is waking up for the water (you are still not getting any sleep !).
SIDS / Cot Death - What is it and safe sleeping
What is SIDS or Cot Death?
It's a syndrome marked by the sudden death of an infant that is unexpected by history and remains unexplained after a thorough forensic autopsy and a detailed death scene investigation.
I think knowing and understanding Cot Death or SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is so important that it's the only section of my blog that I have actually copied and pasted straight out of a website. In this case from the 'The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths' site, otherwise known as FSID. FSID is the UK's leading baby charity working to prevent sudden deaths and promote health. FSID funds research, supports bereaved families and promotes safe baby care advice.
For more detailed info this is the site to go to www.fsid.org.uk
This is an extract from the site:
Try to remember that cot death is rare and that if you follow advice such as sleeping your baby on the back, you will be reducing their risk of cot death considerably.
Since the introduction of our 'reduce the risk of cot death' campaign in 1991 the number of babies dying has fallen by 75%. Advances in research mean we are regularly discovering new positive steps parents can take. Follow the steps below to give your baby the chance of a lifetime.
Advice for parents to reduce the risk of cot death:
•Cut smoking in pregnancy – fathers too! And don’t let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.
•Place your baby on the back to sleep (and not on the front or side).
•Do not let your baby get too hot, and keep your baby’s head uncovered.
•Place your baby with their feet to the foot of the cot, to prevent them wriggling down under the covers, or use a baby sleep bag.
•Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.
•The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib or cot in a room with you for the first six months.
•It’s especially dangerous for your baby to sleep in your bed
if you (or your partner):
• are a smoker, even if you never smoke in bed or at home
• have been drinking alcohol
• take medication or drugs that make you drowsy
• feel very tired;
or if your baby:
• was born before 37 weeks
• weighed less than 2.5kg or 5½ lbs at birth.
•Don’t forget, accidents can happen: you might roll over in your sleep and suffocate your baby; or your baby could get caught between the wall and the bed, or could roll out of an adult bed and be injured.
•Settling your baby to sleep (day and night) with a dummy can reduce the risk of cot death, even if the dummy falls out while your baby is asleep.
•Breastfeed your baby. Establish breastfeeding before starting to use a dummy.
Much of this advice is contained in the booklet Reduce the Risk of Cot Death: An Easy Guide. Our award-wining BabyZone booklet covers all this advice as well as advising you on how to protect your baby from infections and accidents. Follow the links on the left to view the leaflets and go to our publications list to order your free copy.
If you have any questions about looking after your baby safely please call our Helpline on 0808 802 6868 or email helpline@fsid.org.uk
Where should I put my baby’s cot?
The safest place for your baby to sleep for the first six months is in a cot in a room with you. This is true for day-time sleeps too. Babies should never sleep next to a radiator, heater or in direct sunlight. Keep an eye on the temperature by buying a simple room thermometer. Make sure your baby cannot reach cords on curtains, window blinds or lights.
Can I use a duvet, quilt or pillow for my baby?
If your baby is under one year, do not use a duvet, quilt or pillow. Don’t use electric blankets or hot water bottles. Instead, use one or more layers of light blankets and clothing.
What kind of mattress should I use?
It is very important that your baby’s mattress is kept clean and dry. Ideally you should buy a new mattress for each new baby. If you are not able to do this, use the one you have, as long as it was made with a completely waterproof cover and has no tears, cracks or holes. Clean and dry it thoroughly. Check that the mattress is in good condition; is firm, not soft; fits the cot without any gaps; and doesn’t sag. Never sleep your baby on a pillow, cushion, bean bag or waterbed.
Can my baby use a sleeping bag?
Yes, sleeping bags are a safe alternative to blankets. If you use a sleeping bag, it needs to be hoodless, and have the right size opening at the neck so your baby won’t slip down inside the bag. Never use with a duvet. To make sure your baby doesn’t become too hot, choose a lightweight bag.
Can my baby share my bed?
There are dangers in bedsharing. The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in your bedroom for the first six months. There is a proven risk in bedsharing if you or your partner smoke (even if you never smoke in bed or at home), have been drinking alcohol, take drugs or medication that make you drowsy, or have had little sleep, or if your baby was born premature or was small at birth. If your baby does come into your bed, use lightweight blankets and keep your baby’s head uncovered and remember that accidents can happen. Never sleep together with your baby on a sofa or armchair.
My baby keeps rolling onto his front. What should I do?
If your baby is less than six months old and you find him sleeping on his tummy, gently turn him onto his back. Don’t feel you need to keep getting up all night to check on this. Whatever your baby’s age, always place him to sleep on his back.
Is it okay to swaddle my baby?
People swaddle in different ways, using different weight materials. If you swaddle your baby, don’t cover the head and only use thin materials.
Can I use a Moses basket?
There is no research evidence on Moses baskets. If using a Moses basket, it should have only a thin cotton lining and a waterproof mattress. Follow the ‘reduce the risk of cot death’ advice at the end of this fact sheet.
Is it okay for my baby to sleep in a car seat?
Car seats are not ideal places for safe infant sleep in the home. Our advice is that the safest place for your baby to sleep – both during the day for naps and during the night – is in a crib, cot or Moses basket in a room with you for the first six months. It is important to check on your baby regularly when she is asleep. If your baby is being transported in a car, she should be carried in a properly designed and fitted car seat, facing backwards, and be observable by a competent adult. Be careful that your baby doesn’t get too hot and remove hats and outdoor coats when you get in the car. On long car journeys, stop for breaks for fresh air and a drink for the baby. Premature babies who may slump need particular care when travelling in a car seat.
A recent study of car seats gave this advice: “We are still concerned about the vulnerability of infants in car seats … We advise parents to use car seats that do not have a steeply angled back. Caregivers are also instructed that immature infants being discharged from the neonatal nursery should be watched carefully while in the car seat and transferred back to their cot as soon as possible after the car journey ends.” [Car seat test for preterm infants: comparison with polysomnography, Elder et al. Arch. Dis. Child. Fetal Neonatal Ed..2007; 92: F468-F472]
How can I prevent my baby’s head from getting covered?
It can be dangerous if your baby’s head gets covered when he sleeps. Place him with his feet to the foot of the cot, with the bedclothes firmly tucked in and no higher than the shoulders, so he can’t wriggle down under the covers. If he wriggles up and gets uncovered, don’t worry. You can also use a baby sleeping bag instead of sheets and blankets.
Do movement (breathing) monitors prevent cot death?
There is no evidence that movement monitors (also known as apnoea or breathing monitors) prevent cot death. Babies can and do die whilst on a monitor. They are designed to sound an alarm after 20 seconds if they can’t detect a baby’s breathing movement. They cannot detect a blocked airway until breathing movements stop.
Is it safe for my baby to play on her front?
Babies should have plenty of opportunity to play on the front, so their muscles develop properly and to avoid misshapen heads. Keep an eye on them at all times.
Should I breastfeed my baby?
Yes, breastfeed your baby as it has been found to reduce the risk of cot death. It’s natural and the best way to feed your baby, and increases resistance to infection.
Should I use a dummy?
Settling your baby to sleep with a dummy – even for naps – can reduce the risk of cot death. If breastfeeding, do not begin to give a dummy until your baby is one month old to ensure breastfeeding is well-established. If you are sure that breastfeeding has been firmly established before your baby is one month old then there is no reason to withhold a dummy until this time. Don’t worry if the dummy falls out while your baby is asleep, and don’t force your baby to take a dummy if she doesn’t want it. Never coat the dummy in anything sweet. Try to gradually wean your baby off a dummy by the age of one year. The risk of cot death drops significantly after six months, so from this point onwards up to one year, you should try to get her to stop using a dummy to prevent dental and other problems.
Should my baby be immunised?
Your baby is less likely to die as a cot death if he has been immunised. Have your baby immunised and go for checkups.
Is it okay to take my baby on an aeroplane?
There is no evidence that flying is unsafe for healthy babies. If you fly with your baby on either long or short flights, you should follow these guidelines: place your baby on the back to sleep, keep your baby cool, and make sure your baby takes appropriate feeds and doesn’t become dehydrated. If you have specific questions about your baby, e.g. if your baby is unwell or has a cold, speak to your doctor before travelling.
Is there anything else I can do to reduce the risk of cot death?
• Cut smoking in pregnancy – fathers too! And don’t let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.
• Place your baby on the back to sleep (and not on the front or side).
• Do not let your baby get too hot, and keep your baby’s head uncovered.
• Place your baby with their feet to the foot of the cot, to prevent them wriggling down under the covers.
• Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.
• The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib or cot in a room with you for the first six months.
• It’s especially dangerous for your baby to sleep in your bed
if you (or your partner):
- are a smoker, even if you never smoke in bed or at home
- have been drinking alcohol
- take medication or drugs that make you drowsy
- feel very tired;
or if your baby:
- was born before 37 weeks
- weighed less than 2.5kg or 5½ lbs at birth.
• Don’t forget, accidents can happen: you might roll over in your sleep and suffocate your baby; or your baby could get caught between the wall and the bed, or could roll out of an adult bed and be injured.
• Settling your baby to sleep (day and night) with a dummy can reduce the risk of cot death, even if the dummy falls out while your baby is asleep.
• Breastfeed your baby. Establish breastfeeding before starting to use a dummy.
It's a syndrome marked by the sudden death of an infant that is unexpected by history and remains unexplained after a thorough forensic autopsy and a detailed death scene investigation.
I think knowing and understanding Cot Death or SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is so important that it's the only section of my blog that I have actually copied and pasted straight out of a website. In this case from the 'The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths' site, otherwise known as FSID. FSID is the UK's leading baby charity working to prevent sudden deaths and promote health. FSID funds research, supports bereaved families and promotes safe baby care advice.
For more detailed info this is the site to go to www.fsid.org.uk
This is an extract from the site:
Try to remember that cot death is rare and that if you follow advice such as sleeping your baby on the back, you will be reducing their risk of cot death considerably.
Since the introduction of our 'reduce the risk of cot death' campaign in 1991 the number of babies dying has fallen by 75%. Advances in research mean we are regularly discovering new positive steps parents can take. Follow the steps below to give your baby the chance of a lifetime.
Advice for parents to reduce the risk of cot death:
•Cut smoking in pregnancy – fathers too! And don’t let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.
•Place your baby on the back to sleep (and not on the front or side).
•Do not let your baby get too hot, and keep your baby’s head uncovered.
•Place your baby with their feet to the foot of the cot, to prevent them wriggling down under the covers, or use a baby sleep bag.
•Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.
•The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib or cot in a room with you for the first six months.
•It’s especially dangerous for your baby to sleep in your bed
if you (or your partner):
• are a smoker, even if you never smoke in bed or at home
• have been drinking alcohol
• take medication or drugs that make you drowsy
• feel very tired;
or if your baby:
• was born before 37 weeks
• weighed less than 2.5kg or 5½ lbs at birth.
•Don’t forget, accidents can happen: you might roll over in your sleep and suffocate your baby; or your baby could get caught between the wall and the bed, or could roll out of an adult bed and be injured.
•Settling your baby to sleep (day and night) with a dummy can reduce the risk of cot death, even if the dummy falls out while your baby is asleep.
•Breastfeed your baby. Establish breastfeeding before starting to use a dummy.
Much of this advice is contained in the booklet Reduce the Risk of Cot Death: An Easy Guide. Our award-wining BabyZone booklet covers all this advice as well as advising you on how to protect your baby from infections and accidents. Follow the links on the left to view the leaflets and go to our publications list to order your free copy.
If you have any questions about looking after your baby safely please call our Helpline on 0808 802 6868 or email helpline@fsid.org.uk
Where should I put my baby’s cot?
The safest place for your baby to sleep for the first six months is in a cot in a room with you. This is true for day-time sleeps too. Babies should never sleep next to a radiator, heater or in direct sunlight. Keep an eye on the temperature by buying a simple room thermometer. Make sure your baby cannot reach cords on curtains, window blinds or lights.
Can I use a duvet, quilt or pillow for my baby?
If your baby is under one year, do not use a duvet, quilt or pillow. Don’t use electric blankets or hot water bottles. Instead, use one or more layers of light blankets and clothing.
What kind of mattress should I use?
It is very important that your baby’s mattress is kept clean and dry. Ideally you should buy a new mattress for each new baby. If you are not able to do this, use the one you have, as long as it was made with a completely waterproof cover and has no tears, cracks or holes. Clean and dry it thoroughly. Check that the mattress is in good condition; is firm, not soft; fits the cot without any gaps; and doesn’t sag. Never sleep your baby on a pillow, cushion, bean bag or waterbed.
Can my baby use a sleeping bag?
Yes, sleeping bags are a safe alternative to blankets. If you use a sleeping bag, it needs to be hoodless, and have the right size opening at the neck so your baby won’t slip down inside the bag. Never use with a duvet. To make sure your baby doesn’t become too hot, choose a lightweight bag.
Can my baby share my bed?
There are dangers in bedsharing. The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in your bedroom for the first six months. There is a proven risk in bedsharing if you or your partner smoke (even if you never smoke in bed or at home), have been drinking alcohol, take drugs or medication that make you drowsy, or have had little sleep, or if your baby was born premature or was small at birth. If your baby does come into your bed, use lightweight blankets and keep your baby’s head uncovered and remember that accidents can happen. Never sleep together with your baby on a sofa or armchair.
My baby keeps rolling onto his front. What should I do?
If your baby is less than six months old and you find him sleeping on his tummy, gently turn him onto his back. Don’t feel you need to keep getting up all night to check on this. Whatever your baby’s age, always place him to sleep on his back.
Is it okay to swaddle my baby?
People swaddle in different ways, using different weight materials. If you swaddle your baby, don’t cover the head and only use thin materials.
Can I use a Moses basket?
There is no research evidence on Moses baskets. If using a Moses basket, it should have only a thin cotton lining and a waterproof mattress. Follow the ‘reduce the risk of cot death’ advice at the end of this fact sheet.
Is it okay for my baby to sleep in a car seat?
Car seats are not ideal places for safe infant sleep in the home. Our advice is that the safest place for your baby to sleep – both during the day for naps and during the night – is in a crib, cot or Moses basket in a room with you for the first six months. It is important to check on your baby regularly when she is asleep. If your baby is being transported in a car, she should be carried in a properly designed and fitted car seat, facing backwards, and be observable by a competent adult. Be careful that your baby doesn’t get too hot and remove hats and outdoor coats when you get in the car. On long car journeys, stop for breaks for fresh air and a drink for the baby. Premature babies who may slump need particular care when travelling in a car seat.
A recent study of car seats gave this advice: “We are still concerned about the vulnerability of infants in car seats … We advise parents to use car seats that do not have a steeply angled back. Caregivers are also instructed that immature infants being discharged from the neonatal nursery should be watched carefully while in the car seat and transferred back to their cot as soon as possible after the car journey ends.” [Car seat test for preterm infants: comparison with polysomnography, Elder et al. Arch. Dis. Child. Fetal Neonatal Ed..2007; 92: F468-F472]
How can I prevent my baby’s head from getting covered?
It can be dangerous if your baby’s head gets covered when he sleeps. Place him with his feet to the foot of the cot, with the bedclothes firmly tucked in and no higher than the shoulders, so he can’t wriggle down under the covers. If he wriggles up and gets uncovered, don’t worry. You can also use a baby sleeping bag instead of sheets and blankets.
Do movement (breathing) monitors prevent cot death?
There is no evidence that movement monitors (also known as apnoea or breathing monitors) prevent cot death. Babies can and do die whilst on a monitor. They are designed to sound an alarm after 20 seconds if they can’t detect a baby’s breathing movement. They cannot detect a blocked airway until breathing movements stop.
Is it safe for my baby to play on her front?
Babies should have plenty of opportunity to play on the front, so their muscles develop properly and to avoid misshapen heads. Keep an eye on them at all times.
Should I breastfeed my baby?
Yes, breastfeed your baby as it has been found to reduce the risk of cot death. It’s natural and the best way to feed your baby, and increases resistance to infection.
Should I use a dummy?
Settling your baby to sleep with a dummy – even for naps – can reduce the risk of cot death. If breastfeeding, do not begin to give a dummy until your baby is one month old to ensure breastfeeding is well-established. If you are sure that breastfeeding has been firmly established before your baby is one month old then there is no reason to withhold a dummy until this time. Don’t worry if the dummy falls out while your baby is asleep, and don’t force your baby to take a dummy if she doesn’t want it. Never coat the dummy in anything sweet. Try to gradually wean your baby off a dummy by the age of one year. The risk of cot death drops significantly after six months, so from this point onwards up to one year, you should try to get her to stop using a dummy to prevent dental and other problems.
Should my baby be immunised?
Your baby is less likely to die as a cot death if he has been immunised. Have your baby immunised and go for checkups.
Is it okay to take my baby on an aeroplane?
There is no evidence that flying is unsafe for healthy babies. If you fly with your baby on either long or short flights, you should follow these guidelines: place your baby on the back to sleep, keep your baby cool, and make sure your baby takes appropriate feeds and doesn’t become dehydrated. If you have specific questions about your baby, e.g. if your baby is unwell or has a cold, speak to your doctor before travelling.
Is there anything else I can do to reduce the risk of cot death?
• Cut smoking in pregnancy – fathers too! And don’t let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.
• Place your baby on the back to sleep (and not on the front or side).
• Do not let your baby get too hot, and keep your baby’s head uncovered.
• Place your baby with their feet to the foot of the cot, to prevent them wriggling down under the covers.
• Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.
• The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib or cot in a room with you for the first six months.
• It’s especially dangerous for your baby to sleep in your bed
if you (or your partner):
- are a smoker, even if you never smoke in bed or at home
- have been drinking alcohol
- take medication or drugs that make you drowsy
- feel very tired;
or if your baby:
- was born before 37 weeks
- weighed less than 2.5kg or 5½ lbs at birth.
• Don’t forget, accidents can happen: you might roll over in your sleep and suffocate your baby; or your baby could get caught between the wall and the bed, or could roll out of an adult bed and be injured.
• Settling your baby to sleep (day and night) with a dummy can reduce the risk of cot death, even if the dummy falls out while your baby is asleep.
• Breastfeed your baby. Establish breastfeeding before starting to use a dummy.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Pre & Postnatal Excersise
Prenatal Exercise
Depending on where in the world you live there are VERY different views on exercise during pregnancy and whether you should in fact be doing any at all. So here are two different pictures for you:
In HK: I was about 6mths pregnant, I went to the gym to walk on the treadmill. I set the tread mil on a slight incline of about 5%, and started a brisk (ish)walk. After about 20 mins, as I stepped off the treadmill I felt very lightheaded and within minutes was sitting down with 3 worried instructors buzzing around me getting me energy bars and isotonic drinks. I'll never forget one of them saying 'but you are pregnant why are you even AT the gym?!?'. She thought I was insane, I thought she was even more insane for asking me that. The simple fact was that I had been a bit irresponsible and forgotten to have a snack before my workout. I was running on empty.
In London: in my mother's gym class I've seen many pregnant ladies from 3mths through to 8mths in the body conditioning classes. This is TOUGH 60min class that has cardio, and body toning using hand weights. It is totally the way to go in Europe
As long as you have asked your doctor if it is safe for you to exercise, and that you have no pregnancy complications it should be totally ok for you to work out, in fact it's positively the right thing to do (but you MUST check with your Dr first). It's all about being sensible too, if you have never done yoga, it's probably not the time to start. But if you continue something that your body was used to before (but modified to the fact that you are pregnant) then you should be fine. I think walking is great, I think Pilates is fantastic (specially for your pelvic floor which takes on quite a strain during pregnancy). Others love yoga and some people ( like the example above) love more strenuous exercise. I had a super fit friend who loved spinning, when she became pregnant she carried on spinning right through to her 7th or 8th month.
Postnatal Exercise
I don't have any earth shattering tips here other than you MUST wait to get ok from your doctor after your 6 week check up before you start any kind of postnatal exercise specially if you've had a c-section like me. It's amazing how the body changes during pregnancy and your expectations of what it is capable of after the birth have to be realistic. You need to start slow and then build up the straight. Consistency is the most important thing, even if you do 20mins a day. I waited 2mths after the birth and then I called my personal trainer and we went full on for a month (1 or sometimes 2 sessions a day, 5 or 6 days a week). Whether you have a trainer or not it's really important to understand what the right exercises are. For example it may seem obviously to do a lot of abdominal work after a baby to get that tummy back in...NOOOOO! the abdominal have a thin layer of fascia in the middle at the front that hold them and if you do crunches just after the birth you will most probably tear it apart (and that's for good). Crunches pull the muscles away from each other and there is only 1 exercise that draws them towards each other - you need to know what that is if you want to close your 'separation' (the gap between your abs). Some people can have a separation as wide as 4 fingers, I was lucky mine was only a finger wide. Anyway I'm not an instructor and I'm not about to give out any work out tips, all I will say is that with hard work and good balanced diet you can get back to your pre pregnancy weight if you want to within 6mths.
Depending on where in the world you live there are VERY different views on exercise during pregnancy and whether you should in fact be doing any at all. So here are two different pictures for you:
In HK: I was about 6mths pregnant, I went to the gym to walk on the treadmill. I set the tread mil on a slight incline of about 5%, and started a brisk (ish)walk. After about 20 mins, as I stepped off the treadmill I felt very lightheaded and within minutes was sitting down with 3 worried instructors buzzing around me getting me energy bars and isotonic drinks. I'll never forget one of them saying 'but you are pregnant why are you even AT the gym?!?'. She thought I was insane, I thought she was even more insane for asking me that. The simple fact was that I had been a bit irresponsible and forgotten to have a snack before my workout. I was running on empty.
In London: in my mother's gym class I've seen many pregnant ladies from 3mths through to 8mths in the body conditioning classes. This is TOUGH 60min class that has cardio, and body toning using hand weights. It is totally the way to go in Europe
As long as you have asked your doctor if it is safe for you to exercise, and that you have no pregnancy complications it should be totally ok for you to work out, in fact it's positively the right thing to do (but you MUST check with your Dr first). It's all about being sensible too, if you have never done yoga, it's probably not the time to start. But if you continue something that your body was used to before (but modified to the fact that you are pregnant) then you should be fine. I think walking is great, I think Pilates is fantastic (specially for your pelvic floor which takes on quite a strain during pregnancy). Others love yoga and some people ( like the example above) love more strenuous exercise. I had a super fit friend who loved spinning, when she became pregnant she carried on spinning right through to her 7th or 8th month.
Postnatal Exercise
I don't have any earth shattering tips here other than you MUST wait to get ok from your doctor after your 6 week check up before you start any kind of postnatal exercise specially if you've had a c-section like me. It's amazing how the body changes during pregnancy and your expectations of what it is capable of after the birth have to be realistic. You need to start slow and then build up the straight. Consistency is the most important thing, even if you do 20mins a day. I waited 2mths after the birth and then I called my personal trainer and we went full on for a month (1 or sometimes 2 sessions a day, 5 or 6 days a week). Whether you have a trainer or not it's really important to understand what the right exercises are. For example it may seem obviously to do a lot of abdominal work after a baby to get that tummy back in...NOOOOO! the abdominal have a thin layer of fascia in the middle at the front that hold them and if you do crunches just after the birth you will most probably tear it apart (and that's for good). Crunches pull the muscles away from each other and there is only 1 exercise that draws them towards each other - you need to know what that is if you want to close your 'separation' (the gap between your abs). Some people can have a separation as wide as 4 fingers, I was lucky mine was only a finger wide. Anyway I'm not an instructor and I'm not about to give out any work out tips, all I will say is that with hard work and good balanced diet you can get back to your pre pregnancy weight if you want to within 6mths.
What would you like to see on this blog?
Thought I would open up a section here on things YOU would like to see here, or questions you have. I can't promise that I will have the answers but use the comment box attached below to ask me anything you would like to know about your baby bundle.
Monday, March 8, 2010
REM? Sleep Cycle or a Band??
What is REM? Unless you've ever specifically come across it in relation to sleep, you'll know REM as the band who sang 'Everybody Hurts'. But seriously what is REM? Rapid Eye Movement, it sounds more complicated than it really is. It's just a name that refers to the light phase of sleep. Babies spend 50% of thier time in REM sleep (that's why they make those cute jerky movements and eye flickets etc). If your baby was born prematurly he'll be in REM for closer to 80% of the time.
The non REM sleep is the really still part of sleep. The part that makes you wonder if they are still breathing. Totally normal as a 1st time mother to check on them the whole time during this part of the sleep. It's ok though you get over this after a while and if you don't the sensor pad is the way to go (look under best buys in my what to buy a new born).
By the 3rd month babies develeop a proper sleep pattern of 4 REM and non-REM sleep. Non-REM sleep has 4 STAGES. First they enter STAGE 1 of non-REM sleep (drowsy sleep) they quickly move into STAGE 2 (light sleep) and finally into STAGE 3 and STAGE 4 (very deep sleep). This whole cyle (STAGE 1-4) lasts 40-50mins. The baby then enters the REM sleep (which is a very light sleep) for 5-10mins and then back again into the non-REM cycle. This is why babies often wake up after 45mins, and if they don't know how to settle themselves back to sleep unassisted in that REM stage they wake up and the problems start. If they aren't able to get more than 40/50mins stretches during the day, by the afternoon they are super irritable and overtired and can't settle well into the night sleep. If you fall into the habit of assisting your baby back to sleep every 40/50mins you'll find yourself having to do that all the night as well.
The non REM sleep is the really still part of sleep. The part that makes you wonder if they are still breathing. Totally normal as a 1st time mother to check on them the whole time during this part of the sleep. It's ok though you get over this after a while and if you don't the sensor pad is the way to go (look under best buys in my what to buy a new born).
By the 3rd month babies develeop a proper sleep pattern of 4 REM and non-REM sleep. Non-REM sleep has 4 STAGES. First they enter STAGE 1 of non-REM sleep (drowsy sleep) they quickly move into STAGE 2 (light sleep) and finally into STAGE 3 and STAGE 4 (very deep sleep). This whole cyle (STAGE 1-4) lasts 40-50mins. The baby then enters the REM sleep (which is a very light sleep) for 5-10mins and then back again into the non-REM cycle. This is why babies often wake up after 45mins, and if they don't know how to settle themselves back to sleep unassisted in that REM stage they wake up and the problems start. If they aren't able to get more than 40/50mins stretches during the day, by the afternoon they are super irritable and overtired and can't settle well into the night sleep. If you fall into the habit of assisting your baby back to sleep every 40/50mins you'll find yourself having to do that all the night as well.
Controlled Crying: What is it and can I really do it?
What is Controlled Crying?
It's basically sleep training. It trains babies and toddlers to sleep on their own without needing to be rocked to sleep.
If you are going to sleep train your baby you need to first read the section on Basics of Sleep, and once you have that under control you can try the sleep training. If you demand feed your baby it's almost impossible to sleep train your baby. Demand feeding means feeding your baby whenever your baby cries for milk but more importantly it means letting your baby sleep as much as she likes in between those feeds. This often results in far too many hours of day time sleep and therefore not enough hours of night time sleep. Silent Nights by Dr Brian Synon is a great book in understanding the importance of a routine.
The harsh fact is that sleep training is REALLY HARD, I can't stress how hard it was for me, heartbreaking infact but the good news is that it takes about a week or two and then after that you have a much easier baby.
First of all ask your doctor if you can sleep train your baby using controlled crying. You MUST get the OK from the Dr first.
Some reasons NOT to sleep train your baby
- baby is underweight
- your baby is ill or recovering from an illness
- you're about to move home or have moved home, are on holiday or just got back from holiday
- your baby / toddler has just started pre-school or nursery or an older sibling is having a tough time with pre-school or nursery or accepting the new baby
- YOU the parents are not mentally ready (post natally depressed or other causes of stress)
All on the same page
- the best solution is that the SAME person deals with the baby during sleep training and if this isn't possible then to sit down and make sure you are all on the same page. I sleep trained both bundles whilst still on maternity leave, but I had my nanny on hand to help throughout the process. With Isabelle it was much easier, we started when she was 8wks old and by 9wks she was sleeping after her 10.30pm feed through to 7am totally uninterupted. With Sebastien it's been much harder. he was able to do the same when he was almost 13months old and even now at 19mths he STILL stirs once at 4am. So being on the same page as his nanny is really important and we work together on this every day having disussions and updates througout the day when I am at work and in the evenings when I get home.
Usually with babies under 6mths if they are still getting up more than 2 times and are not able to settle down again it's probably hunger so make sure you check his weight and amount of milk with your doctor first. You MUST be sure all that is in order if you are to ignore a crying baby during the night.
Letting your baby cry himself to sleep
Sounds really cruel right? In fact it's a totally natural thing for a tired baby to 'cry down'. Babies who are sleepy and ready to sleep with start crying really quite loudly when you put them into thier cot, it's thier way of winding down. It shouldn't take more than 10-30mins. The more tired the baby the louder he will cry down. It's NOT easy to listen to your baby cry himself to sleep, and every minute feels like 20 mins. If after 10mins you really can't take it anymore you can go in, give a few tap taps, and then walk out again. If you pick the baby up the game is over. I used to stick head phones on. I know it sounds awful and just as I would approach the 10th minute and was about to pull my hair out and go running in and kiss and cuddle my baby suddenly silence ! he would be fast asleep. I can't stress how valuable a lesson you are teaching your baby by letting him to learn to settle himself.
All babies come into a light sleep a few times throughout the night and when they wake up, IF they have not learnt to settle themselves they will not sleep again, and you'll find yourself resorting to rocking or dummies which only compound the problem.
Controlled Crying for babies over 6mths
Day 1: Start in the evening with a structured evening routine that involves a bath and then the last feed of the night. Settle your baby in his cot after he is well winded and leave the room. Allow him to cry for 5 to 10 mins depending on how long YOU can tolerate. Go back in, dont't make eye contact, stroke or pat him, say 'shhh, shhh'. Stay no longer than 2mins and leave the room even if he cried the whole way through the time you were with him. Go back in again after 5-10mins. If the first time you let your baby cry 5 mins, this time try 6mins, the 3rd time try 7mins but never longer than 10mins. If they 1st time you managed 10mins, do 10mins the 2nd and 3rd time. Each time you go in stay no longer than 2mins. After 30mins of doing this you can then increase the time between going in to 15-20mins, I know IT IS HARD, but I PROMISE you eventually your baby will fall asleep (probably just as you are about to give up). Each time in the night your baby wakes up, follow the same structure.
Day 2: now you will doing the controlled crying during the day...pick up where you left off, so if the longest you had to leave your baby was 15mins then start with 15mins and go in only after 15mins, again for a short 2mins only, and then start again. If your baby's morning nap is supposed to be 45mins but it takes you 45mins of contrlled crying to eventually get him to sleep you might be wondering what to do next....allow him a short25/20min nap anyway. If this happens during the lunch time nap, allow him 45mins anyway no matter what time he falls asleep otherwise he will be too tired by the afternoon. That evening do the same as day 1 but leave your baby for about 20-25mins this time. This time let reasurance be only 'shhh, shhh' no patting or stroking this time. If after a whole hour or going in every 20mins he is still crying increase the gap to 35-40mins. This will almost never happen, usually children learn pretty quickly that you are not going to get them up and that it's in thier better interest to actually just go to sleep. If he wakes in the middle of the night, ignore him for a good 45mins before going in to 'shh, shh' him and this time no longer than 1min.
Day 3: by now most babies will settle themselves within the 1st 20mins
If it takes longer than 3 days just stick with it, some days you will go back a step but work back forward again.
When we travel long haul we usually don't leave the bundles to cry for the 1st 3 days, in recognition that they are jet lagged we assist them in their sleep using cuddles or dummies, the problem is that they then get used to this very quickly so we then have to do the whole controlled crying again to re-teach them and remind them they have to put themselves to sleep. It never takes more than 2/3 days. It's the same when they are unwell, I never let an ill child cry himself to sleep, but they soon get used to the comfort of someone picking them up or rocking them to sleep so even when they are well again they might play up as they want to be rocked to sleep and once again we have to do the controlled crying to let them know they have to do it themselves.
When it works it's amazing, with both bundles we put them down in their cots, they cry for a few minutes (less than 5) and they fall asleep, it's great as a parent not to have to be rocking your child to sleep each night and everytime you lower them into thier bed they burst out crying again.
When they are older toddlers they are so used to it that they will then dictate to you. With Isabelle we read her a bedtime story, give her a cuddle for a few minutes in the dark and she herself will say 'bed time mummy, time for Isabelle's bed'.
It's basically sleep training. It trains babies and toddlers to sleep on their own without needing to be rocked to sleep.
If you are going to sleep train your baby you need to first read the section on Basics of Sleep, and once you have that under control you can try the sleep training. If you demand feed your baby it's almost impossible to sleep train your baby. Demand feeding means feeding your baby whenever your baby cries for milk but more importantly it means letting your baby sleep as much as she likes in between those feeds. This often results in far too many hours of day time sleep and therefore not enough hours of night time sleep. Silent Nights by Dr Brian Synon is a great book in understanding the importance of a routine.
The harsh fact is that sleep training is REALLY HARD, I can't stress how hard it was for me, heartbreaking infact but the good news is that it takes about a week or two and then after that you have a much easier baby.
First of all ask your doctor if you can sleep train your baby using controlled crying. You MUST get the OK from the Dr first.
Some reasons NOT to sleep train your baby
- baby is underweight
- your baby is ill or recovering from an illness
- you're about to move home or have moved home, are on holiday or just got back from holiday
- your baby / toddler has just started pre-school or nursery or an older sibling is having a tough time with pre-school or nursery or accepting the new baby
- YOU the parents are not mentally ready (post natally depressed or other causes of stress)
All on the same page
- the best solution is that the SAME person deals with the baby during sleep training and if this isn't possible then to sit down and make sure you are all on the same page. I sleep trained both bundles whilst still on maternity leave, but I had my nanny on hand to help throughout the process. With Isabelle it was much easier, we started when she was 8wks old and by 9wks she was sleeping after her 10.30pm feed through to 7am totally uninterupted. With Sebastien it's been much harder. he was able to do the same when he was almost 13months old and even now at 19mths he STILL stirs once at 4am. So being on the same page as his nanny is really important and we work together on this every day having disussions and updates througout the day when I am at work and in the evenings when I get home.
Usually with babies under 6mths if they are still getting up more than 2 times and are not able to settle down again it's probably hunger so make sure you check his weight and amount of milk with your doctor first. You MUST be sure all that is in order if you are to ignore a crying baby during the night.
Letting your baby cry himself to sleep
Sounds really cruel right? In fact it's a totally natural thing for a tired baby to 'cry down'. Babies who are sleepy and ready to sleep with start crying really quite loudly when you put them into thier cot, it's thier way of winding down. It shouldn't take more than 10-30mins. The more tired the baby the louder he will cry down. It's NOT easy to listen to your baby cry himself to sleep, and every minute feels like 20 mins. If after 10mins you really can't take it anymore you can go in, give a few tap taps, and then walk out again. If you pick the baby up the game is over. I used to stick head phones on. I know it sounds awful and just as I would approach the 10th minute and was about to pull my hair out and go running in and kiss and cuddle my baby suddenly silence ! he would be fast asleep. I can't stress how valuable a lesson you are teaching your baby by letting him to learn to settle himself.
All babies come into a light sleep a few times throughout the night and when they wake up, IF they have not learnt to settle themselves they will not sleep again, and you'll find yourself resorting to rocking or dummies which only compound the problem.
Controlled Crying for babies over 6mths
Day 1: Start in the evening with a structured evening routine that involves a bath and then the last feed of the night. Settle your baby in his cot after he is well winded and leave the room. Allow him to cry for 5 to 10 mins depending on how long YOU can tolerate. Go back in, dont't make eye contact, stroke or pat him, say 'shhh, shhh'. Stay no longer than 2mins and leave the room even if he cried the whole way through the time you were with him. Go back in again after 5-10mins. If the first time you let your baby cry 5 mins, this time try 6mins, the 3rd time try 7mins but never longer than 10mins. If they 1st time you managed 10mins, do 10mins the 2nd and 3rd time. Each time you go in stay no longer than 2mins. After 30mins of doing this you can then increase the time between going in to 15-20mins, I know IT IS HARD, but I PROMISE you eventually your baby will fall asleep (probably just as you are about to give up). Each time in the night your baby wakes up, follow the same structure.
Day 2: now you will doing the controlled crying during the day...pick up where you left off, so if the longest you had to leave your baby was 15mins then start with 15mins and go in only after 15mins, again for a short 2mins only, and then start again. If your baby's morning nap is supposed to be 45mins but it takes you 45mins of contrlled crying to eventually get him to sleep you might be wondering what to do next....allow him a short25/20min nap anyway. If this happens during the lunch time nap, allow him 45mins anyway no matter what time he falls asleep otherwise he will be too tired by the afternoon. That evening do the same as day 1 but leave your baby for about 20-25mins this time. This time let reasurance be only 'shhh, shhh' no patting or stroking this time. If after a whole hour or going in every 20mins he is still crying increase the gap to 35-40mins. This will almost never happen, usually children learn pretty quickly that you are not going to get them up and that it's in thier better interest to actually just go to sleep. If he wakes in the middle of the night, ignore him for a good 45mins before going in to 'shh, shh' him and this time no longer than 1min.
Day 3: by now most babies will settle themselves within the 1st 20mins
If it takes longer than 3 days just stick with it, some days you will go back a step but work back forward again.
When we travel long haul we usually don't leave the bundles to cry for the 1st 3 days, in recognition that they are jet lagged we assist them in their sleep using cuddles or dummies, the problem is that they then get used to this very quickly so we then have to do the whole controlled crying again to re-teach them and remind them they have to put themselves to sleep. It never takes more than 2/3 days. It's the same when they are unwell, I never let an ill child cry himself to sleep, but they soon get used to the comfort of someone picking them up or rocking them to sleep so even when they are well again they might play up as they want to be rocked to sleep and once again we have to do the controlled crying to let them know they have to do it themselves.
When it works it's amazing, with both bundles we put them down in their cots, they cry for a few minutes (less than 5) and they fall asleep, it's great as a parent not to have to be rocking your child to sleep each night and everytime you lower them into thier bed they burst out crying again.
When they are older toddlers they are so used to it that they will then dictate to you. With Isabelle we read her a bedtime story, give her a cuddle for a few minutes in the dark and she herself will say 'bed time mummy, time for Isabelle's bed'.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Some Basics on Sleep
I follow a few basic rules and so far so good with both little bundles
1 - Understanding how long your baby needs to sleep during the day. There is a maximum amount of time each child should sleep during the day to ensure that they are able to make it through the night. It should be divide between 2 shorter naps morning and afternoon and then one longer lunch time nap. A baby under 5wks needs around 5hrs sleep a day; between 4 to 8wks it should be around 4hrs; from 8 to 12 wks about 3hrs 30mins. By 3mths it should be no longer than 3hrs. By 6mths if your baby is giving you all the right signs you can drop the afternoon nap altogether and the total daytime sleep will be no more than 2hrs 30mins to 3hrs. After their 1st birthday they will probably sleep no more than 2hrs 30 mins and some time between 15 and 18 mths your toddler will also drop his morning nap sleeping no more than 2hrs at lunch time. These are all guidelines and if you have a very active toddler they will sleep a lot less. Isabelle never slept as long as the guidelines and from around 16mths onwards was sleeping anything between 45mins to 2hrs at lunch time (with an average of 1hr 30mins for most days)
2 - Waking up a baby that is sleeping too long during the day. This is related to the first point but not always obvious. It's really hard waking up a sleeping baby specially if it's the only down time you get but TRUST me, it's a lot better to have him awake during the day than during the night. I don't mean startle a baby to wake. As long as you gently unwrap him from his swaddle or unzip him from his sleeping bag, pull back any sheets and open any blinds he should start to wake up on his own...if not then gently stroke his tummy and speak to him softly.
3 - Eliminating Sleep associations. There are lots of these from rocking and cuddling, to dummies and tap tapping a baby to sleep. My view is that in the first 2 to 3 months babies need as much love, cuddles and attention as they can get, and yes perhaps they will develop sleep associations, but as long as you stop them well before the end of their third month you can wean them off any sleep associations in a few days. With a dummy (if you choose to use one) the trick is to pull it out your baby's mouth JUST before he falls asleep. That way they don't learn to 'need' it to fall asleep and they won't be startled when it falls out of their little mouths. I think if you HAVE to do something then some 'sshh-ing and some tapping' is fine but try not to pick the baby up and rock him to sleep. Then you will end up in a never ending cycle of the baby bursting into tears the minute you try to put him down. I used CONTROLED CRYING with both my bundles. Done CORRECTLY it can really work...more on that later
4 - The premise that if your baby has had the right amount of milk for his weight, is gaining the right amount of weight each week, is sleeping only the maximum amount of hours allowed for his age then he SHOULD be able to get through the bulk fo the night - sometimes referred to as the 'core night'.
1 - Understanding how long your baby needs to sleep during the day. There is a maximum amount of time each child should sleep during the day to ensure that they are able to make it through the night. It should be divide between 2 shorter naps morning and afternoon and then one longer lunch time nap. A baby under 5wks needs around 5hrs sleep a day; between 4 to 8wks it should be around 4hrs; from 8 to 12 wks about 3hrs 30mins. By 3mths it should be no longer than 3hrs. By 6mths if your baby is giving you all the right signs you can drop the afternoon nap altogether and the total daytime sleep will be no more than 2hrs 30mins to 3hrs. After their 1st birthday they will probably sleep no more than 2hrs 30 mins and some time between 15 and 18 mths your toddler will also drop his morning nap sleeping no more than 2hrs at lunch time. These are all guidelines and if you have a very active toddler they will sleep a lot less. Isabelle never slept as long as the guidelines and from around 16mths onwards was sleeping anything between 45mins to 2hrs at lunch time (with an average of 1hr 30mins for most days)
2 - Waking up a baby that is sleeping too long during the day. This is related to the first point but not always obvious. It's really hard waking up a sleeping baby specially if it's the only down time you get but TRUST me, it's a lot better to have him awake during the day than during the night. I don't mean startle a baby to wake. As long as you gently unwrap him from his swaddle or unzip him from his sleeping bag, pull back any sheets and open any blinds he should start to wake up on his own...if not then gently stroke his tummy and speak to him softly.
3 - Eliminating Sleep associations. There are lots of these from rocking and cuddling, to dummies and tap tapping a baby to sleep. My view is that in the first 2 to 3 months babies need as much love, cuddles and attention as they can get, and yes perhaps they will develop sleep associations, but as long as you stop them well before the end of their third month you can wean them off any sleep associations in a few days. With a dummy (if you choose to use one) the trick is to pull it out your baby's mouth JUST before he falls asleep. That way they don't learn to 'need' it to fall asleep and they won't be startled when it falls out of their little mouths. I think if you HAVE to do something then some 'sshh-ing and some tapping' is fine but try not to pick the baby up and rock him to sleep. Then you will end up in a never ending cycle of the baby bursting into tears the minute you try to put him down. I used CONTROLED CRYING with both my bundles. Done CORRECTLY it can really work...more on that later
4 - The premise that if your baby has had the right amount of milk for his weight, is gaining the right amount of weight each week, is sleeping only the maximum amount of hours allowed for his age then he SHOULD be able to get through the bulk fo the night - sometimes referred to as the 'core night'.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
What is Hand Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD)
Well the reason I had to go to the doctor today was because Isabelle woke up with a fever in the middle of the night. At the doctors she was diagnosed with HFMD.
Not to be confused with Foot and Mouth disease that cattle get, HFMD is an intestinal virus from the PICORNAVIRIDAE family. It usually affects infants and children, and is quite common. It is moderately contagious and spread through direct contact with the mucus, saliva, or feces of an infected person. It typically occurs in small epidemics in nursery schools or kindergartens, usually during the summer and autumn months. The usual incubation period is 3–7 days.
The name is pretty scary, but in reality it's no worse than any other viral infection. There really is no cure for it and you have to sit it out.
The list of symptoms can vary fro child to child, the most common ones (and the ones Isabelle has today) are fever, sore throat/cough, fatigue, oral ulcers and sores on the hands and feet. It sounds so much worse than it really is. For now the back of her throat is very red with what look like the start of little blisters and the palms of her hands and soles of her feet have a mild rash. She's grumpy and irritable and sleepy. This is day 1 and it could be worse on days 2 and 3 but we are crossing our fingers it's not too awful for her.
Panadol controls the fever and any pain from the sore throat and cough medicine is helping her cough. Aside from that just lots of TLC and Peppa Pig are all we can do.
She needs to stay home and away from other kids for a good week and we have to be extra careful with hygiene around Sebastien.
Not a good day today
Not to be confused with Foot and Mouth disease that cattle get, HFMD is an intestinal virus from the PICORNAVIRIDAE family. It usually affects infants and children, and is quite common. It is moderately contagious and spread through direct contact with the mucus, saliva, or feces of an infected person. It typically occurs in small epidemics in nursery schools or kindergartens, usually during the summer and autumn months. The usual incubation period is 3–7 days.
The name is pretty scary, but in reality it's no worse than any other viral infection. There really is no cure for it and you have to sit it out.
The list of symptoms can vary fro child to child, the most common ones (and the ones Isabelle has today) are fever, sore throat/cough, fatigue, oral ulcers and sores on the hands and feet. It sounds so much worse than it really is. For now the back of her throat is very red with what look like the start of little blisters and the palms of her hands and soles of her feet have a mild rash. She's grumpy and irritable and sleepy. This is day 1 and it could be worse on days 2 and 3 but we are crossing our fingers it's not too awful for her.
Panadol controls the fever and any pain from the sore throat and cough medicine is helping her cough. Aside from that just lots of TLC and Peppa Pig are all we can do.
She needs to stay home and away from other kids for a good week and we have to be extra careful with hygiene around Sebastien.
Not a good day today
The Hip Seat
Having said that one of my worst buys was the hip seat I actually needed to use it today. I wish I hadn't thought as I used it for a trip to the doctors. It's pretty good actually for a short venture out somewhere where you don't want to lug the stroller with you. The short wait for a taxi at both ends was made much easier. Any longer and I could feel it was going to start hurting my lower back.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Children's illness: Top 5 causes of missed school
The Mayo Clinic in the States published a report about the top causes of missed school. It talked about why children got sick so often? Or when it's safe to send kids back to school or child care?
Once kids start to socialise it seems that each week they catch something. Their little immune system are really put to the test. They are literally breeding grounds for the organisms that cause illness.
Here's a lineup (from the Mayo Clinic Report) of the infectious illnesses most likely to keep children home from school or child care, including how to treat and prevent these illnesses — and when it's OK to return to usual activities.
The top five culprits
1. Common cold
The common cold spreads easily through contact with infected respiratory droplets coughed or sneezed into the air. Signs and symptoms may include runny or stuffy nose, itchy or sore throat, cough, sneezing and low-grade fever.
There's no cure for the common cold, and cough and cold medicines aren't recommended for young children — but you can help your child feel better while he or she toughs it out.
Offer plenty of fluids, such as water, juice and chicken soup.
Encourage your child to rest as much as possible.
Run a humidifier in your child's bedroom, or have your child sit in a steamy bathroom.
Try over-the-counter saline nose drops.
An over-the-counter pain reliever — such as baby paracetamol — can reduce a fever and ease the pain of a sore throat or headache. Remember, however, low-grade fevers don't need treatment. If you give your child a pain reliever, follow the dosing guidelines carefully. Don't give aspirin to anyone age 18 or younger.
2. Stomach flu (viral gastroenteritis)
Viral gastroenteritis typically develops after contact with an infected person or after eating or drinking contaminated food or water. Signs include vomiting and diarrhea.
There's no effective treatment for viral gastroenteritis. While the illness runs its course:
Prevent dehydration with an oral rehydration solution, which can help replace lost fluids, minerals and salts.
Encourage your child to rest as much as possible.
Slowly return to a normal diet, starting with easy-to-digest items — toast, rice, bananas, potatoes. Avoid dairy products, which can make diarrhea worse.
Don't give your child over-the-counter anti-diarrheal medications unless your child's doctor recommends it. These medications can make it harder for your child's body to eliminate the virus. If your child seems dehydrated — is excessively thirsty, complains of dry mouth, produces little or no urine, or seems severely weak or lethargic — contact the doctor right away.
3. Ear infection (otitis media)
Ear infections usually start with a viral infection, such as a cold. The middle ear becomes inflamed from the infection, and fluid builds up behind the eardrum. This fluid can become a breeding ground for viruses or bacteria. Your child may complain of ear pain, tug or pull at the affected ear, be unusually irritable or have trouble sleeping.
Most ear infections clear on their own in just a few days, and antibiotics won't help an infection caused by a virus. If your child is uncomfortable:
Place a warm, moist cloth over the affected ear. (my mother used to warm cotton wool on the radiator or on a hot water bottle and place that on my ear)
Ask your child's doctor about pain relievers. He or she may recommend eardrops or an over-the-counter pain reliever. Use the correct dose for your child's age and weight. Don't give aspirin to anyone age 18 or younger.
4. Pink eye (conjunctivitis)
Pink eye (conjunctivitis) is an inflammation or infection of the clear membrane that lines the eyelid and part of the eyeball. Pink eye is typically caused by a virus, often in association with a cold — although sometimes bacteria or allergies are to blame. When pink eye is caused by a virus or bacteria, it's highly contagious. You may notice redness and discharge in one or both of your child's eyes. Your child may complain of itchy eyes or blurred vision.
If your child has bacterial pink eye, the doctor may prescribe antibiotic eyedrops or ointment. Viral pink eye simply needs to run its course. Use warm or cool compresses on the eyes to ease your child's discomfort.
5. Sore throat
Most sore throats are caused by viruses. They're usually associated with other respiratory signs, such as a runny nose and cough. Most sore throats go away without treatment. To help your child feel better in the meantime:
Offer plenty of fluids. Try honey and lemon in hot water. (Doctors in HK tell you that children under the age of 2 shouldn't have honey - this is worth checking)
Encourage your child to rest his or her voice as much as possible.
Run a humidifier in your child's bedroom, or have your child sit in a steamy bathroom.
For an older child, try gargled salt water.
If the sore throat lasts longer than a week, causes severe pain, or is accompanied by a fever or red and swollen tonsils, contact your child's doctor. Your child may have strep throat, a bacterial infection that's treated with antibiotics.
When to stay home, when to return to school or child care
Although the specific school or facility guidelines may vary, your child will probably need to stay home if he or she:
Has a fever higher than 100.4 F (38 C)
Is vomiting
Has diarrhea
Is in the first 24 hours of antibiotic treatment for pink eye or strep throat
Generally, a child can return to school or child care when he or she:
Has no fever
Can eat and drink normally
Is rested and alert enough to pay attention in class
Has completed any period of doctor-recommended isolation
Prevention for one and all
Common sense can go a long way toward preventing illness. Teach your child the basics:
Keep your hands clean. Remind your child to wash his or her hands before eating and after using the toilet or blowing his or her nose. Suggest soaping up for as long as it takes to sing the ABCs, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" or the "Happy Birthday" song.
Cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze. It's best to use a tissue. If you can't reach a tissue in time, cough or sneeze into the crook of your elbow.
Keep your hands away from your eyes and out of your mouth. Hands are often covered in germs.
Avoid anyone who's sick. Close contact with someone who's sick could leave you sick, too.
As your child gets older, he or she will build an arsenal of antibodies to fight common viruses. Gradually your child will become less prone to common illnesses and recover more quickly from the illnesses he or she does catch.
AND IF YOU EVER JUST NEED PIECE OF MIND IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO MAKE A SHORT TRIP TO THE DOCTOR INSTEAD OF HAVING A SLEEPLESS NIGHT WORRYING
Once kids start to socialise it seems that each week they catch something. Their little immune system are really put to the test. They are literally breeding grounds for the organisms that cause illness.
Here's a lineup (from the Mayo Clinic Report) of the infectious illnesses most likely to keep children home from school or child care, including how to treat and prevent these illnesses — and when it's OK to return to usual activities.
The top five culprits
1. Common cold
The common cold spreads easily through contact with infected respiratory droplets coughed or sneezed into the air. Signs and symptoms may include runny or stuffy nose, itchy or sore throat, cough, sneezing and low-grade fever.
There's no cure for the common cold, and cough and cold medicines aren't recommended for young children — but you can help your child feel better while he or she toughs it out.
Offer plenty of fluids, such as water, juice and chicken soup.
Encourage your child to rest as much as possible.
Run a humidifier in your child's bedroom, or have your child sit in a steamy bathroom.
Try over-the-counter saline nose drops.
An over-the-counter pain reliever — such as baby paracetamol — can reduce a fever and ease the pain of a sore throat or headache. Remember, however, low-grade fevers don't need treatment. If you give your child a pain reliever, follow the dosing guidelines carefully. Don't give aspirin to anyone age 18 or younger.
2. Stomach flu (viral gastroenteritis)
Viral gastroenteritis typically develops after contact with an infected person or after eating or drinking contaminated food or water. Signs include vomiting and diarrhea.
There's no effective treatment for viral gastroenteritis. While the illness runs its course:
Prevent dehydration with an oral rehydration solution, which can help replace lost fluids, minerals and salts.
Encourage your child to rest as much as possible.
Slowly return to a normal diet, starting with easy-to-digest items — toast, rice, bananas, potatoes. Avoid dairy products, which can make diarrhea worse.
Don't give your child over-the-counter anti-diarrheal medications unless your child's doctor recommends it. These medications can make it harder for your child's body to eliminate the virus. If your child seems dehydrated — is excessively thirsty, complains of dry mouth, produces little or no urine, or seems severely weak or lethargic — contact the doctor right away.
3. Ear infection (otitis media)
Ear infections usually start with a viral infection, such as a cold. The middle ear becomes inflamed from the infection, and fluid builds up behind the eardrum. This fluid can become a breeding ground for viruses or bacteria. Your child may complain of ear pain, tug or pull at the affected ear, be unusually irritable or have trouble sleeping.
Most ear infections clear on their own in just a few days, and antibiotics won't help an infection caused by a virus. If your child is uncomfortable:
Place a warm, moist cloth over the affected ear. (my mother used to warm cotton wool on the radiator or on a hot water bottle and place that on my ear)
Ask your child's doctor about pain relievers. He or she may recommend eardrops or an over-the-counter pain reliever. Use the correct dose for your child's age and weight. Don't give aspirin to anyone age 18 or younger.
4. Pink eye (conjunctivitis)
Pink eye (conjunctivitis) is an inflammation or infection of the clear membrane that lines the eyelid and part of the eyeball. Pink eye is typically caused by a virus, often in association with a cold — although sometimes bacteria or allergies are to blame. When pink eye is caused by a virus or bacteria, it's highly contagious. You may notice redness and discharge in one or both of your child's eyes. Your child may complain of itchy eyes or blurred vision.
If your child has bacterial pink eye, the doctor may prescribe antibiotic eyedrops or ointment. Viral pink eye simply needs to run its course. Use warm or cool compresses on the eyes to ease your child's discomfort.
5. Sore throat
Most sore throats are caused by viruses. They're usually associated with other respiratory signs, such as a runny nose and cough. Most sore throats go away without treatment. To help your child feel better in the meantime:
Offer plenty of fluids. Try honey and lemon in hot water. (Doctors in HK tell you that children under the age of 2 shouldn't have honey - this is worth checking)
Encourage your child to rest his or her voice as much as possible.
Run a humidifier in your child's bedroom, or have your child sit in a steamy bathroom.
For an older child, try gargled salt water.
If the sore throat lasts longer than a week, causes severe pain, or is accompanied by a fever or red and swollen tonsils, contact your child's doctor. Your child may have strep throat, a bacterial infection that's treated with antibiotics.
When to stay home, when to return to school or child care
Although the specific school or facility guidelines may vary, your child will probably need to stay home if he or she:
Has a fever higher than 100.4 F (38 C)
Is vomiting
Has diarrhea
Is in the first 24 hours of antibiotic treatment for pink eye or strep throat
Generally, a child can return to school or child care when he or she:
Has no fever
Can eat and drink normally
Is rested and alert enough to pay attention in class
Has completed any period of doctor-recommended isolation
Prevention for one and all
Common sense can go a long way toward preventing illness. Teach your child the basics:
Keep your hands clean. Remind your child to wash his or her hands before eating and after using the toilet or blowing his or her nose. Suggest soaping up for as long as it takes to sing the ABCs, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" or the "Happy Birthday" song.
Cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze. It's best to use a tissue. If you can't reach a tissue in time, cough or sneeze into the crook of your elbow.
Keep your hands away from your eyes and out of your mouth. Hands are often covered in germs.
Avoid anyone who's sick. Close contact with someone who's sick could leave you sick, too.
As your child gets older, he or she will build an arsenal of antibodies to fight common viruses. Gradually your child will become less prone to common illnesses and recover more quickly from the illnesses he or she does catch.
AND IF YOU EVER JUST NEED PIECE OF MIND IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO MAKE A SHORT TRIP TO THE DOCTOR INSTEAD OF HAVING A SLEEPLESS NIGHT WORRYING
Still to come....
Pre and post natal depression
Feeding & Sleeping schedules
Dealing with Toddler tantrums
....and much more
Feeding & Sleeping schedules
Dealing with Toddler tantrums
....and much more
Trevel with your Baby
Travelling with your baby
If it's the first time you are flying with your baby you'll feel like you've packed everything except the kitchen sink. There's the car seat, stroller, diaper bag, carry on bag and of course the baby. Air travel with a baby isn't easy, and some of the struggles start before you even board the plane. These simple tips will help you manage your baby gear before and after you board the airplane and make the entire air travel experience more pleasant for everyone.
The Car Seat Conundrum
Many parents debate over whether or not to take their baby's car seat. If you plan to travel by car at your destination, you'll need a baby car seat anyway. Car seats are sometimes available for rent, but you never know what the quality will be on a rental seat, and the car seat may have been in an accident, making it a risky choice for your baby. For babies 1yr and under my personal suggestion would be to take your own car seat with you. Better safe than sorry. But you will have one battle on your hands…how to get the car seat into the cabin. The manufacturers recommendation is that you never check a car seat. If it's dropped and has an internal fracture that you can't see, it's no longer safe to use (much like a bike helmet). I suggest you don't ask at the counter and just board the plane with it. On most large planes it will fit into the overheard lockers, the problem starts on smaller planes on short haul flights where sometimes it doens't fit into the overhead lockers. This is where your battle begins with the staff. Will they be kind enough to find an empty seat or an empty storage locker? It's just pot luck, at some point you might loose the battle. If you do have to check it in it should be wrapped well for protection.
Should I Buy Baby his or her own Plane Seat?
For a baby that can fit into a bassinet you absolutetly do not need to pay for a seat. All you need to do is to ask for a bulk head seat and a bassinet. On take off and landing you have to use an infant seat belt and strap the baby to your lap. This is a good time to give your baby some milk or a dummy to get him sucking as the air pressure changes. The air pressure really hurts their ears and this is usually the time babies cry on fights.
As soon as the seat belt signs go off you can then settle your baby into the bassinet and hopefully your baby will sleep to the hum of the plane for the whole journey. One thing to note however is that as soon as the belt signs go on you have to take your baby out of the bassinet and back onto your lap and belted up (cross your fingers you have as little turbulance as possible).
Baby bassinets are only given to infants up to 7 mths so between 7 mths and 2yrs old your child is essentially on your lap for the whole flight. This is when you can consider buying a seat for your child anyway (you'll have to at the age of 2 anyway so you may as well adjust to the extra cost). Some airlines will let you strap the car seat into the plane seat and leave your baby in there for the flight. Check the manual to be sure that your baby's car seat is FAA approved for air travel before taking it on the plane for that purpose. Also note that baby car seats can only be installed in a window seat on most airlines. If you do buy a seat for your baby who is too big for a bassinet but under 2yrs old again they have to sit on your lap for take off, landing and any other time the seat belt signs go on. However for the rest of the flight you can raise the arm rest pop a pillow under thier heads and let them lie across their seat and onto your lap). Make sure in this instance you do NOT ask for a bulk head seat because arm rests are fixed in those seats and won't raise up.
One tip for the bassinet (usually they have little to no padding, if you have a skeepskin cover for your stroller take that on board and use it as a 'mattress' in the bassinet. Another good tip is to carry some clothes pegs with you, great to pin a blanket or muslin over the bassinet to keep the lights out (specially as bulk head seats are close to the toilettes, lights on, lights off, lights on, lights of..... and useful when lights go on for meals). It also means you can watch a movie on the screen right above the bassinet whilst your baby is sleeping without the screen lights disturbing him/her
Carry On Baby Bags
One carry on bag that serves the role of purse, briefcase and baby bag is the most practical choice for air travel. Back pack style bags can be easier than shoulder bags as they get the bag well and truly out of your way. Make a list before you leave, of everything you will need for the duration of the flight - count the number of meals you will need, toys you might need, bibs, blankets, change of clothes, nappies , wipes etc. Also think about the temperature of your destination, you may need a jacket for baby on arrival). Carry your boiled hot water for milk in a flask and extra cold water you boiled before in a spare bottle or two that way you can mix the hot and cold together in the right ratio to get warm milk (no need to mess around with trying to heat the bottle). I also suggest you zip lock each bottle individually as cabin pressure can make the water leak and you don't want a wet baby bag ! I've been there. Another thing to bare in mind is that with new travel restrictions on fluids you can take on board: airlines will allow water and food for babies but some of them will make you taste it at the security check, and if you are a 1st time mother obsessed with sterilising everything you will shudder at the thought of having to drink from your babies bottle, so if it really bothers you then take a paper cup with you and all will go well. Personally I would say just take a sip from the bottle. Oh and the less fuss you make the less likely they are to make you empty the whole bag out.
Strollers - A Travel Must-Have
Even the smallest babies feel heavy after a long time in your arms, and toddlers often decide they can't walk any longer at the most inconvenient times. A stroller solves these problems. Most infant car seats now fit onto a travel system stroller, making it simple to take both along for the trip and you can take it right up to the plane door and hand it in there. Some airports will also have it ready for you at the plane door at the other end (eg HK) some make you go to the baggage belt to collect it (eg UK!!!). It can also depend on the airline. It's worth asking in advance.
Other Ways to Carry Baby in the Airport
A baby sling or backpack carrier may help you carry your baby quickly through an airport, too. Some parents have successfully used a baby sling during the airplane trip to keep a baby close when the baby doesn't have a ticketed seat. Just remember again that during takeoff and landing you have to use the baby seat belts.
Special Travel Gear for Baby
If you're preparing for a long trip, or you travel a lot, invest in some top of the line baby travel gear to lessen travel hassles. Car seat and stroller combinations let you wheel you baby right to the plane and board. Add a set of travel straps to baby's regular car seat and wear it like a backpack. Look for disposable feeding supplies like bibs, bottles, sippy cups and utensils so that you don't have to clean up during your trip. And don't forget to bring a few new toys to keep your baby entertained! You also might consider things like travel sterilisers or microwave steriliser bags, disposable changing mats etc etc etc
Helper or no Helper
I'm a whimp and I always travel with my helper, an extra set of hands on a long flight is invaluable if you can afford it. It also means that you actually get a holiday at your destination with the option to have dinner at a restaurant at dinner time instead of at 6pm with a baby in tow and you have the option to go out during the day without your baby if you need to or whilst he/she naps. But taking your helper doesn't come without its own complications, visas can be expensive and can take up to 3mths to apply for, and helpers have been known to flee at the destination. One way I give myself peace of mind is that I am in charge of all ID cards and passports from check in right to when we get back to HK. I don't give the helper pocket money and I don't let her take day trips on her own. She is with us all day with the baby and in the evenings if we go out she is at the hotel with the baby (I'm yet to hear of a helper running away and leaving a baby unattended, I have however heard of several stories where the helper has been sent on an errand on her own never to return again)
If it's the first time you are flying with your baby you'll feel like you've packed everything except the kitchen sink. There's the car seat, stroller, diaper bag, carry on bag and of course the baby. Air travel with a baby isn't easy, and some of the struggles start before you even board the plane. These simple tips will help you manage your baby gear before and after you board the airplane and make the entire air travel experience more pleasant for everyone.
The Car Seat Conundrum
Many parents debate over whether or not to take their baby's car seat. If you plan to travel by car at your destination, you'll need a baby car seat anyway. Car seats are sometimes available for rent, but you never know what the quality will be on a rental seat, and the car seat may have been in an accident, making it a risky choice for your baby. For babies 1yr and under my personal suggestion would be to take your own car seat with you. Better safe than sorry. But you will have one battle on your hands…how to get the car seat into the cabin. The manufacturers recommendation is that you never check a car seat. If it's dropped and has an internal fracture that you can't see, it's no longer safe to use (much like a bike helmet). I suggest you don't ask at the counter and just board the plane with it. On most large planes it will fit into the overheard lockers, the problem starts on smaller planes on short haul flights where sometimes it doens't fit into the overhead lockers. This is where your battle begins with the staff. Will they be kind enough to find an empty seat or an empty storage locker? It's just pot luck, at some point you might loose the battle. If you do have to check it in it should be wrapped well for protection.
Should I Buy Baby his or her own Plane Seat?
For a baby that can fit into a bassinet you absolutetly do not need to pay for a seat. All you need to do is to ask for a bulk head seat and a bassinet. On take off and landing you have to use an infant seat belt and strap the baby to your lap. This is a good time to give your baby some milk or a dummy to get him sucking as the air pressure changes. The air pressure really hurts their ears and this is usually the time babies cry on fights.
As soon as the seat belt signs go off you can then settle your baby into the bassinet and hopefully your baby will sleep to the hum of the plane for the whole journey. One thing to note however is that as soon as the belt signs go on you have to take your baby out of the bassinet and back onto your lap and belted up (cross your fingers you have as little turbulance as possible).
Baby bassinets are only given to infants up to 7 mths so between 7 mths and 2yrs old your child is essentially on your lap for the whole flight. This is when you can consider buying a seat for your child anyway (you'll have to at the age of 2 anyway so you may as well adjust to the extra cost). Some airlines will let you strap the car seat into the plane seat and leave your baby in there for the flight. Check the manual to be sure that your baby's car seat is FAA approved for air travel before taking it on the plane for that purpose. Also note that baby car seats can only be installed in a window seat on most airlines. If you do buy a seat for your baby who is too big for a bassinet but under 2yrs old again they have to sit on your lap for take off, landing and any other time the seat belt signs go on. However for the rest of the flight you can raise the arm rest pop a pillow under thier heads and let them lie across their seat and onto your lap). Make sure in this instance you do NOT ask for a bulk head seat because arm rests are fixed in those seats and won't raise up.
One tip for the bassinet (usually they have little to no padding, if you have a skeepskin cover for your stroller take that on board and use it as a 'mattress' in the bassinet. Another good tip is to carry some clothes pegs with you, great to pin a blanket or muslin over the bassinet to keep the lights out (specially as bulk head seats are close to the toilettes, lights on, lights off, lights on, lights of..... and useful when lights go on for meals). It also means you can watch a movie on the screen right above the bassinet whilst your baby is sleeping without the screen lights disturbing him/her
Carry On Baby Bags
One carry on bag that serves the role of purse, briefcase and baby bag is the most practical choice for air travel. Back pack style bags can be easier than shoulder bags as they get the bag well and truly out of your way. Make a list before you leave, of everything you will need for the duration of the flight - count the number of meals you will need, toys you might need, bibs, blankets, change of clothes, nappies , wipes etc. Also think about the temperature of your destination, you may need a jacket for baby on arrival). Carry your boiled hot water for milk in a flask and extra cold water you boiled before in a spare bottle or two that way you can mix the hot and cold together in the right ratio to get warm milk (no need to mess around with trying to heat the bottle). I also suggest you zip lock each bottle individually as cabin pressure can make the water leak and you don't want a wet baby bag ! I've been there. Another thing to bare in mind is that with new travel restrictions on fluids you can take on board: airlines will allow water and food for babies but some of them will make you taste it at the security check, and if you are a 1st time mother obsessed with sterilising everything you will shudder at the thought of having to drink from your babies bottle, so if it really bothers you then take a paper cup with you and all will go well. Personally I would say just take a sip from the bottle. Oh and the less fuss you make the less likely they are to make you empty the whole bag out.
Strollers - A Travel Must-Have
Even the smallest babies feel heavy after a long time in your arms, and toddlers often decide they can't walk any longer at the most inconvenient times. A stroller solves these problems. Most infant car seats now fit onto a travel system stroller, making it simple to take both along for the trip and you can take it right up to the plane door and hand it in there. Some airports will also have it ready for you at the plane door at the other end (eg HK) some make you go to the baggage belt to collect it (eg UK!!!). It can also depend on the airline. It's worth asking in advance.
Other Ways to Carry Baby in the Airport
A baby sling or backpack carrier may help you carry your baby quickly through an airport, too. Some parents have successfully used a baby sling during the airplane trip to keep a baby close when the baby doesn't have a ticketed seat. Just remember again that during takeoff and landing you have to use the baby seat belts.
Special Travel Gear for Baby
If you're preparing for a long trip, or you travel a lot, invest in some top of the line baby travel gear to lessen travel hassles. Car seat and stroller combinations let you wheel you baby right to the plane and board. Add a set of travel straps to baby's regular car seat and wear it like a backpack. Look for disposable feeding supplies like bibs, bottles, sippy cups and utensils so that you don't have to clean up during your trip. And don't forget to bring a few new toys to keep your baby entertained! You also might consider things like travel sterilisers or microwave steriliser bags, disposable changing mats etc etc etc
Helper or no Helper
I'm a whimp and I always travel with my helper, an extra set of hands on a long flight is invaluable if you can afford it. It also means that you actually get a holiday at your destination with the option to have dinner at a restaurant at dinner time instead of at 6pm with a baby in tow and you have the option to go out during the day without your baby if you need to or whilst he/she naps. But taking your helper doesn't come without its own complications, visas can be expensive and can take up to 3mths to apply for, and helpers have been known to flee at the destination. One way I give myself peace of mind is that I am in charge of all ID cards and passports from check in right to when we get back to HK. I don't give the helper pocket money and I don't let her take day trips on her own. She is with us all day with the baby and in the evenings if we go out she is at the hotel with the baby (I'm yet to hear of a helper running away and leaving a baby unattended, I have however heard of several stories where the helper has been sent on an errand on her own never to return again)
Prenatal classes
Annerley
17/F Tak Woo House, 17-19 D’Aguilar Street Central
2983 1558
www.annerley.com.hk
info@annerley.com.hk
When Annerley started, it was initially only a midwifery service; now they have expanded to include a wide range of services, individual consultations and specialist services from antenatal care, the postnatal period and the early years of parenting.
Services include:
Antenatal clinic
Antenatal classes
Hypnobirthing
Birth breathing
Birth support
Postnatal home visits
Developmental checks
Mother and baby group
Baby massage
CPR & first aid
Domestic helper course
Sleep consultations
Sleep programme
Matilda International Hospital
The Peak
2849 0357
http://www.matilda.org/eng/healthedu/antenatalclass.php
health@matilda.org
Up at the peak, most people have heard of the Matilda (affectionately known as the Matilda Hotel). Apart from having inherited a wealth of architecture and a stunning view of Hong Kong, the hospital offers a wide range of services (surgical,
maternity, family medicine, critical care, allied health and several wellness
programs)
The Wellmess Programs include:
Health Education
Antenatal Parentcraft Classes
Paediatric First Aid and Home Safety Course
Courses for Domestic Helpers
Parent and Baby Group
Parent and Toddler Group
Infant Massage Course
Fitness Classes
Lifestyle Lunch Box Lectures
17/F Tak Woo House, 17-19 D’Aguilar Street Central
2983 1558
www.annerley.com.hk
info@annerley.com.hk
When Annerley started, it was initially only a midwifery service; now they have expanded to include a wide range of services, individual consultations and specialist services from antenatal care, the postnatal period and the early years of parenting.
Services include:
Antenatal clinic
Antenatal classes
Hypnobirthing
Birth breathing
Birth support
Postnatal home visits
Developmental checks
Mother and baby group
Baby massage
CPR & first aid
Domestic helper course
Sleep consultations
Sleep programme
Matilda International Hospital
The Peak
2849 0357
http://www.matilda.org/eng/healthedu/antenatalclass.php
health@matilda.org
Up at the peak, most people have heard of the Matilda (affectionately known as the Matilda Hotel). Apart from having inherited a wealth of architecture and a stunning view of Hong Kong, the hospital offers a wide range of services (surgical,
maternity, family medicine, critical care, allied health and several wellness
programs)
The Wellmess Programs include:
Health Education
Antenatal Parentcraft Classes
Paediatric First Aid and Home Safety Course
Courses for Domestic Helpers
Parent and Baby Group
Parent and Toddler Group
Infant Massage Course
Fitness Classes
Lifestyle Lunch Box Lectures
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